My friend Zach hasn't eaten his favorite food in years until today. Welcome back to Mythical Kitchen, where we all got to eat, even if we can't eat. Hold on, give me a sec. I printed out a list. Bell peppers, parentheses, extreme vomiting, dairy, parentheses, bloated, gassy, red meat, inflammatory, and neck tenses up, alcohol, stiff neck, too much chicken or turkey, too much gluten, eggs, paprika, which is just bell pepper, anything with capsain and peppers, coffee, fast food, i.e. deep fried foods, junk food, cornbased junk foods, and cheese flavored junk foods, especially soda, parenthesis, from the high fructose corn syrup.

Yeah. Also, if I have too much matcha, I get real farty. I think it's the sugar. It's probably just the sugar. I didn't tell you guys that I can't have too much sugar in a day. Um, but cuz I want to eat it. Sure, that's a fair point. Yeah, but are you constantly battling against these things cuz you want them? Bell peppers are probably easier to avoid than say sugar. Think, man. So, I love food, but food does not love me. I have a lot of dietary restrictions. I have irritable bowel and just like inflammatory stuff going on. You would think bell pepper would be easy to avoid. They put it in everything. It's cuz who's they

the people the pe the big food bell pepper agenda. No, it's like okay because I'm dairyf free so I often when I'm going out to eat I'm forced to the vegan stuff but vegan food doesn't have flavor so they put these little colorful red always has bell pepper in it. Yeah, it always has bell pepper or paprika or and they don't put it on the menu because it's like oh it's just a little garnish. We're giving you that for free. No, I pay a price. A little bit about the background. We were talking about you potentially being on last meals and you casually said, "If I were to eat all the things I wanted to for my last meal, it would be my last meal."

It would actually be your last meal. Yeah. And by the way, guys, get this video to 3 million views. This is my audition to be on Last Meals. Josh said I'm not allowed on the big show yet. Never. Um, but if I do well here, then maybe I get invited back uh probably a January except season 7. Yeah. Season 7, January. Somewhere between episode 178 and 216. So that's why we have taken five of your favorite foods and we are going to try and use our ingenuity and inventiveness as chefs to recreate them in the perfect Zack Cornfeld allergyfriendly form and

frankly see if they're still actually satisfying cuz like what the hell's that? Can I touch it? Yes, you can. I didn't wash my hands. We'll get you. We now we got to wash we have to wash both your hands and that. Zach, do you know what we're making? I have no idea. I don't know what this is. Yeah. I don't know if you spin around. Spin it around. Cuz the backside looks even better, I think. That one's got more jelly on it.

Jelly? Yeah. What the heck is this? Is it like fake baloney? Is it spam? Oh, I mean, what do you mean fake? And I thought this would be squishy. I thought it'd be bouncy like a trampoline. No. No, it's hard. Yeah, it's hard cuz the meat that it's meant to mimic, it's kind of one of the harder meats. People seem to enjoy it more when it's harder. This is egregious what you're doing. You got to arate it. to show. No, you don't. You got to airate. You don't actually.

You got to airate the non- coffee. Um, so this isn't coffee technically. I am fascinated by there have been several uh historical substitutes for coffee due to different shortages. This is chory coffee. This is still really popular uh in New Orleans actually in Louisiana that they will add ground and roasted chory root. You ever have like radikio or endive? Yes. So those are the leaves of the chory plant. So they're kind of like bitter and the root you can actually dry you can dry it and then grind it. And they used it as a substitute for coffee during shortage, but now they still just

add it to coffee in New Orleans as like a fun little homage. And it's delicious. It smells smell. Yeah. So, you can't drink coffee. No, I can't. I had to stop drinking coffee in my 20s, which is why I became so obsessed with tea. Uh cuz I still desperately crave the caffeine. Is it the caffeine that you can't consume? No. I drink tons of caffeine. It's like same with me, you know, not drinking alcohol. It's just cuz what it does to me. I still party. Yeah.

It's uh No, it's the coffee specifically would just turn me into a bloat monster. I mean, I'm talking demonic farts. You know what's weird, too, is that I got through all of college not drinking coffee and then I was on one overnight shoot and I'm like, "Let me try it." And then I became addicted. Those scare me more than anything. That to me is the scariest machine in the world. Okay, you should try this just raw. These aren't going to get heated and crisped up. Frankly, I haven't even tried the squishy raw version yet. That's baloney. Turkey bacon. Being a Jew, did you grow up on a lot of turkey bacon? Cuz I grew up on so much turkey bacon.

I didn't grow up on turkey bacon, but it's it's become a big part of my life. Wait, so this is a block of turkey? We sugar and salt cured the turkey, added some liquid smoke to it, and some spices, and then basically like put it in a stand mixer and a food processor to sort of like buzz it all up and to get that like emulsifying snap there. I'm realizing you asked me if I grew up on turkey bacon cuz you were asking if I grew up kosher. Not even Well, I don't know. You didn't grow up kosher at all, right? No, not at all. I Did both of your like parents eat pork?

Yeah, we're bad. terrible juice. Uh, no allegiance to the religion in any way whatsoever. I just like locks. That's it. Fair point. We were that except like didn't my grandma just didn't cook pork in the house. So, we ended up with like turkey bacon. I remember going to a friend's house once and they had a meat and a dairy sink which if in a kosher household you have two different sinks and I had to wash my hands and I didn't know which one I was.

I think you're made of meat. I think I thought I was meat, but I was I had dairy on my hand, so it was a very confusing moment for me. Does this have caffeine? No. So, there's no caffeine in it whatsoever. And also, I think a lot we were trying to do some research on like what in coffee would cause inflammation and there's just like very specific uh acidic compounds in the actual coffee beans that like when you roast to a darker roast, they actually like deintensify. I don't know. I don't know what exactly the thing inside coffee that would have like caused you that me issue is. I also, you know, I don't

want this to be the episode where I talk exclusively about my bowel movements. Dude, do you want me to talk about my bowel movements? That would be nice. They're great. I bet you're regular. I bet you're so regular. I'm a regular. I'll tell you what, though. I do eat like 200 plus grams of protein a day. And so that is really forces itself out a little bit. Yeah. It's kind of like uh you know, like squeezing out um like a frozen Go-Gurt. You know what I mean? You apply the pressure of new food, it's going to get out of there.

Yeah. But also a lot of fiber cuz there's creatine in there as well. You strike me as like a 10:00 a.m. and a 400 pm every day on the dot. I was only one a day for a while and it used to be at about 11:18 a.m. But now it's with the show, you know, with the show I'm not a victim here, but with the show my poops aren't as regular. I'm eating weird stuff at weird time. I'm eating. Okay. I thought it was cuz like Kristoff Waltz is in. So you're holding it in. I can't within 10 hours of Kristoff Waltz getting here.

Um, can I tell you? So, I didn't know that I had a Huh. I didn't know. So, my poops were weird for a long time. Yeah. Um and I didn't know it until they got really bad at. And that's pretty much the story of that. We should talk about the food that I'm making real quick. Not to be like me. Let's talk about what I'm doing. What you got going on there? We're making you a breakfast burrito to go with the coffee. And so what we're doing since you don't eat a lot of red meat anymore, we're doing the turkey bacon. Look at him dance. Come on. Could someone with ankylo spondilitis do that?

This is so excit. I mean, breakfast burritos is one of the great things Los Angeles has to offer. Uh, we don't have much by way of art anymore. All of the film industry has left us, but we've got breakfast burritos. And even growing up in New York, I had breakfast sandwiches, right? But I eggs, I don't eat much. And cheese is what makes that thing magical. And I can't eat that. This is the cheese. No kidding. Yeah. a bunch of blended cashews and nutritional yeast and a little bit of uh dijon, a little bit of lemon, and then turmeric to try and make it more yellowower. Nutritional yeast is magical. It's like if you were trying to make like a vegan Caesar salad, you sprinkle that on top. Perfect.

It's I was trying to like research why exactly nutritional yeast has such a cheesy flavor profile and I really couldn't find a great answer cuz there's the one element of like glutamic acid, right? Which is the formation of like MSG basically but like that doesn't explain all of the other cheesiness cuz you could put MSG in something and it wouldn't taste like cheese. I don't know if it's because so yeast is technically a single cell fungus. We all know that. And I don't know, we're getting somewhere. I will say that telling people like when people come over to eat and I'm like, "Oh, we put nutritional yeast on." It doesn't sound good.

No. And the other term I'm going to reseason with a little bit of salt. The other term they created for it just nch. Wo. So much more flavorful than I was expecting. Yeah. Delicious. Right. So, the idea is we're going to use this as like a little bit of almost kind of like a cheese spread on the tortilla. In trouble for this. I think this is tastier than a cheese. Like what we're effectively doing this seems like cool vegan cookery, which like it is. This is kind of just how they make like industrial processed nacho cheese. I'm waiting for the fast food company that goes just like what are you saying?

Isn't this a great interview format? You really cracked them with this. Just going to go ahead and sear that off. Those are some fat wide cuts. And then this I know uh tofu scramble. This is tofu scramble. Excellent egg uh substitute. I never make it for myself. Do you know about this? No. Okay. Open up and smell this. This is a very polarizing ingredient. Uh-huh. It's called kala nemach or black salt. WOO. Oh my god. Yeah. Oh, that's so that sparks. It sparks. It sparks in a bag. It's sulfur. It is literally sulfur. Um, one of the things that makes eggs eggy is indeed sulfur.

It is the uh there's a something that creates hydrogen sulfide, I believe, in the egg whites that actually reacts to the iron inside an egg yolk. It creates like iron sulfide or ferrris sulfide, which is crazy. So, when you make when you add just a little bit of that to uh scrambled uh tofu, it actually tastes eggy. Are you inviting me to Yeah. Yeah, please. So like uh we like kind of casually say fart dust, but like you know there's there are certain ingredients that you know uh something bitter. A little drop of bitterness. It tastes like fart. It tastes like eggs but also fart. Yeah. Sure. Let's try this coffee.

I'm excited. I'm also seeing that a little bit of kalanach goes a long way cuz still salt. Well, hey, first do it. Cheers. I've never had straight ground roasted chory. What? Hey, now you're an all-star. Get your game on. RIP. Go play. He's dead. Um, we all will. Yeah. Hey. You all got two things in common. And you're going to get to hear the rest of that if you got 3 million views. Like and share, please. What's your favorite breakfast burrito in LA? Dude, we just had a guest on yesterday. This is the problem. He knows too many people now. He can't answer.

No. We have Lucky Boy. Yeah, Lucky Boy. I love Corner Cottage. No, I'll I'll I'll make a definitive answer. Larry's Chili Dogs. Uh I'm a big Kofax guy and when I was still eating cheese, I lived right by there, so I used to be able to walk deliriously on a Saturday or Sunday morning. Um and they put tater tots in theirs, which I love. Um and they also they work with bloodos and so you can get like barbecue links in your burrito, which is crazy. The thing that I didn't like about Kofax is that they would put bell peppers in it. And I don't like bell peppers in a breakfast burrito. I

never Maybe I asked without it. We're all shocked. Have you heard the hushes? It's that So Tony has been for the last like 2 weeks R&Ding our gluten-free flour tortillas. You did this gluten-free? Yeah. So this is a gluten-free flour tortilla as well. Perfected by Tony the proud papa over there. Way to go, Tony. Whose last words to me were, "Hey man, try not to overfill this burrito too much." And after the third slice of turkey bacon went on there, I heard him go, I heard your head move the wind back and forth. This is our gluten-free, red meat

free breakfast burrito, turkey bacon, uh, scrambled tofu, cashew cheese. What else we put in there? Miso powder, roasted potatoes. That's what those were. I didn't even tell you about those. And then we have a pepper-free salsa. What is this made out of? This is just simply grated tomato, a little bit of olive oil and salt, which is a wonderful condiment that is used all across the Middle East for things like uh like boras and stuff. It's just really great. It kind of gets you, you know, the acid, the wet. It's nice. I like it wet, you know. Delicious. Okay, I'm going to try this. I'm going to try this uh unsauc the cheese is doing a ton.

The fact that this held together is crazy. And Tony, great job on this nonflour flour tortilla. I am not gluten-free, but I've been told I should be cuz it's very inflammatory. I was vegan for a while. Um, I don't want to talk cuz then I can't eat. Yeah, I'll talk. Can you just guess my story? Zach was vegan for a while, but what happened is he started going to those protests that the vegans are always going to. And then someone said, "Hey, Lady Gaga is wearing a goose themed costume at the Golden Globes. It was just too hard." We went keep eating. Zack, we need you to throw a bucket of fake blood on Lady Gaga. So there Zack is with a bucket of fake blood, red paint, Lady Gaga walking down and he goes, "Is this worth it?"

even though there are no published papers about the fact that this will decrease my inflammation from my ankalloing spondilitis. And then he actually went to throw the fake blood on Lady Gaga, trips, falls in the fake blood, writhing around, pisses his pants, starts crying like a turtle on its shell going, "Oh no, oh no, no." But pissing the whole time and all the vegans start laughing at him. No. Pretty close. It's just so hard to be vegan. And then I also I was trying to put weight on and like the amount of tofu you have to eat is crazy. It's a lot. And honestly lately I've been eating more meat.

The concept of the episode still works. It still works. I um you know my pain is in a like the most stable place it's been in years which is crazy cuz I have a child at home now and I really thought that the newborn trenches would set me off. But so far so good. Amen. We can decrease the amount of pain in your life by even this much respect for Brio. So do you think anyone heard what you said or that a good one? Let's do it. Cheers. All right. We all got to eat and we all got to die. Thanks for being with me, Josh. Hey, thanks so much for having me, Zach.

Now, what else do you say? Um, now is where can I So now would be like were you uh intro me but then you give like a deep esoteric poll about you esoteric I read your uh college essay on metaphysics. Oh I thought you were going to say happy feet. I didn't see this clip. So many people are asking me to upload the full thing and I'm like so bad. It's so bad you don't want to see it. Um we're we're making lunch. We had breakfast. We're still sipping on our chory coffee but we're making lunch. We're making chicken parm. I know what this is. I'm so stoked man. I hope chicken parm I hope you're stoked after we make it cuz this is kind of a bit of a deep pull. We're kind of taking all the parm out. You're you're

taking everything out of it. Th This is We're leaving the chicken. So, we're doing a gluten-free panko breading. Instead of eggs, we're using aquafaba, which is uh the chickpea water. So, you whip that up and it kind of gets thick in the protein. The sauce is where it gets interesting because we didn't want to put vegan cheese on a chicken parm. The only good I'm so sorry. There's Dr. Pepper in my coffee. So, the only vegan mozzarella that's good is from, I believe, Miyoko's crearyy. It's like kind of a liquidy thing, and we thought it'd be weird. So, my strategy as a chef would be to take a tomato-based sauce that has other heavily flavored ingredients in it and just switch that out. So, we're making a pineca sauce.

I love a pineca. This is great. This is chicken pines, man. Come on. I know. I'm on board. I'm fully on Come on. Where else would you rather be? I'm going to get this chicken cooking real quick. Wait, I have a question. So, wait, we should address this to the crowd. I have a glove and I promised Lily that I would wear gloves. And they had like a moment and she Yeah. Josh sort of humbled himself. He got smaller and said, "I will do this for you." I guess my lord Lily. Yeah. We had this talk yesterday. Lily was like, "It would if you just use gloves sometimes. It would really make it easier for everybody on set." So, I'm

doing that. But I have a question. Do you want me to use the gloves for the chicken? If you have a whole box, as many gloves as you want. This is actually huge. There's a hundred in here. Tell me about your favorite memories of chicken parm. Chicken parm is the food of my childhood. There's something about growing up in New York. You have so many Italian restaurants. My dad loves a chicken parm. And so I was making one chicken parm a week. It's really cool. It's a very I mean I'm a terrible cook. I don't find joy in it. I'm not good at it. But I've always found chicken parm pretty easy and like fun to make. But yeah, like going to Little

Italy, going to Great. Let's get Let's get a shot of the camera. Wait. Oh, I do need to go into that bowl eventually. Yeah. I was like I thought you were moving the coffees away from potentially getting salmonella in it. No, that I don't care. Sure. I think that's a hoax. I'll tell you what. I thought that was the case and then I looked it up. No. Stats are like salmonella rips through America every single year. I mean like a 100,000 hospitalizations. It's crazy. You know what I heard? Okay, so I eat raw cookie dough. Or at least I did growing up. It's the flour you got to be worried about.

The flour you got to be worried about. Yeah. No kidding. Well, is I don't know if that's still a thing, but yeah, raw uncooked flour, I guess, is just processed with a lot of uh processed in facilities where there's a lot of salmonella. Can I tell you my controversial food opinion? I think cookie dough is better than cookies. Uh yeah, I don't think it's that controversial anymore. Okay. Hell yeah. You know, I think you're I'm getting a couple nods, so I feel like I'm I think you're kind of like that edgy comedian telling edgy, you know, edgy jokes in 2025. You're like, nope, that's just what everyone's saying now.

Everyone in Austin is saying the same thing. So, we're going to go ahead spray that with avocado oil. What? What's up? So, so the problem now is that the gloves are so that we don't contaminate things, but now the salmonella hand is touching the oil. I don't know how to use gloves. When you get on camera, there's a lot to think about. A lot of pressure. And this spray is just so wide. This is the widest spray I've ever seen. Okay, we're going to fry up some garlic. Going to fry up some capers. I want to get like all of these kind of working here.

We love capers. The key is if you can't use like the uh cheese, right? Cheese has glutamic acid in it, which is effectively umami. And so if you can't get the umami from cheese, what can you get it from? Boom. Oiled salted fish. Drop a whole lot of that in there. You can eat anchovies, right? Yeah. You know, I feel like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles really did a disservice to the anchovi community. I grew up thinking it was the grossest thing that ever was. And it only recently have I gotten over that. A couple things like that. Brussels sprouts for us in our era.

Yeah. Broccoli. I have a I have one of my baby books. Actually, the one you got me, Rachel, uh says like, "Ew, broccoli." And I'm like, I ain't reading this. It's propaganda. It is a children's book that Rachel bought for me because she thought I would like it. It's It's a little too advanced. Coincidentally, though, you have my child. No, it's too child. You're No, she's not ready for it. It's too advanced. Yeah, you can. A book doesn't spoil. You don't have to like throw out the book. Uh, I'll keep it for her, but it's it's my book. It's mine.

She has plenty of books. This one's mine. Yeah. So, we've got the much better looking chicken that Lily made. Oh, Lily. Way to go, Lily. Liy. No, I'm really proud of you. Wait. Wow. She thinks you did a bad job. She thinks you did a bad job, dude. NO. DID I DO A BAD JOB? Lily thinks your chicken's not good now. What's wrong with that chicken? I kind of You kind of did that. Lily, I'm sorry. I feel like me and Zach are both failing you right now. Sorry. Why am I involved in that? I'm very excited for this because vegan cheese is tough. There are some new ones that are like really doing

their thing, but for the most part and for years, it felt like vegan cheese did itself a disservice even having the word cheese in the title. I agree. And I think also trying to make like mozzarella and stuff as opposed to um I'm going to put a little grammal on there. You got it. That's a little bit just to get some more like you know you don't if you don't have the creaminess of some cheese get a little bit more acid more herbaceiousness just lemon zest garlic parsley I know but that's there you go um this is beautiful

the more processed the cheese like a nacho cheese the closer you can get with vegan ingredients when you're looking for that stretch it doesn't work that's why I circumvent it entirely and here we have the pinesesca chicken parmesan with a little bit of grammalada on top I feel like you need to get over here with me maybe wrap your arms around me and we this together. Okay, we're going to ghost it. So, I've only gotten, you know, I think I only started developing body odor in the last like year of my life.

Uh, not odor, but I smell you. I know what you smell like now, and that's fun. Yeah. Do you want me to cut or you got this? No, I kind of just wanted to do here. I'll go. This is a fun thing about Josh. He doesn't like forks. But actually, you have a little fork and a spoon. So, what was your plan? A few. This is So, what was what exactly was your plan? That's exactly what I was going to say. I was going to go where do we got here? And then you can just kind of spoon it out. There you go. Yeah, if you cook it right, you don't need it and you

don't need a knife. That way you don't even need a fork. I guess this is one of the few dishes though where I'd say that a knife would be appropriate. But I think what most people do cuz this dish exists in chopstick predominant countries, right? Like a katu. Sure. Yeah. I thought you were talking about chicken parm and my mind was about to be blown. You've never had Shandong style chicken parm? That's delicious. Now, if I ordered chicken parm and someone brought this out, I'd say, "What the hell is it?" But it is delicious. There's like a lot of like the fattiness that's coming from that fried chicken or at least that like, you know, have like baked chicken,

but when you get like the acid from the capers, the olives have that bitterness, anchovies have that funk. Like cheese on this wouldn't make sense because we've hit it with so many other complimentary flavors. As far as a gluten-free perspective, too, I don't know that I'm missing anything. I'm getting like a little like Rice Krispy aftertaste, which kind is fun. It's not bad. Yeah. I mean, my dad has a very simple palette, so it like this was the food. And when he went out, this is all he wanted.

Your dad is really cool. Yeah, he's a cool guy. Have you met my dad? Never met your dad, but I've watched a lot of videos with him. You've watched videos with my dad? You had some really emotional moments. Yeah. Talking about how worried he was for you when you were Are you prepping for my last Are you always prepping for people's last meals, whether or not they're on the We got to get this to 3 million, by the way, guys. Otherwise, Josh has watched videos of my dad for nothing. Uh, Zack, you have a torturous autoimmune disease. Uh, do you had a really great short film about it called Ouch, which I watched recently.

I appreciate that. And somebody compared you to Michelle Gondry. No, they did. That someone was me. Okay. I don't know about that. I just thought I thought it was a really good film. Um, but no, uh, we are making one of your favorite cocktails. This is We'll save this for the last meals, but I got to sit in on an a post day of Eternal Sunshine, the Spotless Mind with Michelle Gandry. Wait, really? Yeah. That's so sick. It was like the turning point of my life. And it was uh so he is the Yeah. one of the biggest visual influences to me, I think, the world of them.

I did not know that. So, the highest compliment. And so, if this if we get this to 3 million views, then you can hear the rest of that story. Unfortunately, I was told the bar has moved to four based on my performance so far. So, we're going to have to get it even higher. Uh Josh said that off camera. Give this the old Jimmy Russell. I know what we're doing here. This is a recreation of one of my favorite cocktails in the world. And they actually don't put the skin in there. So, let me help you out.

I would say I thought you threw the whole I would say no one puts a passion fruit skin. I Okay, wait. No, can I actually My one of my favorite cocktails of all time has a whole floating passion fruit on top. It's called a porn star martini. That's funny. So, I don't drink much uh anymore really ever because I have an autoimmune disease. I have it's called ankylosing spondilitis. My body gets real stiff. Uh basically, my bones are trying to fuse together. And so then I take a shot that says stop that bones. But I have some fusion in my hips. I have a little like it looks like a spur on a cowboy boot growing off my spine in different places. And so that leaves my body with a lot of inflammation. And

there are different foods that are inflammatory. So it's an autoimmune disease, it's an inflammatory disease, and it's also part of the spondylothritis family. So it gets to be multiple things at once. Um, and different foods like and alcohol being one of them makes me tense up and stiffen up. So when I would drink, I would feel like my neck get like almost like I was calcifying. So I stopped drinking and just smoked even more weed than I did before. Hey man. Yeah. Well, we got some all natural non-alcoholic messcal, which I will say just tastes like I don't know, someone's soaked peppercorns in a little bit of water and then charge you $40 for it.

It's crazy. This is a problem. Okay, I if I could get on my soap box for a second, I don't I drink mocktails. I love mocktails. I don't think they should cost as much as normal alcohol. No, man. It's crazy. It's not fair. I just would like a juice, please. I would like a fancy bubbly juice and I don't want it to cost $18. Hey, cheers. Hey, does it? So, there is non-alcoholic meascal in here. There is non-alcoholic mess. See if this is anywhere close to what you remember. It's so sweet. It's yummy. The non-alcoholic messcal is pretty sugary.

Yeah, maybe that's what's doing it. Why? So, the context here is uh I spend a lot of time in Mexico with my family. Uh my wife and I got married in a small town in Naare and there is a bar that we What are you doing? See if that helps. Salt. Let's see if that helps. There's a bar that we love and this is the one alcoholic drink a year that I will drink. It's it's called the Mescalita Marakuya and uh I love it cuz you it's a delicious cocktail and you get little candy in it, too. I love passion fruit. It's like nature's hard boba. The texture of passion fruit seeds to me are a little bit like light bulb glass though.

What's light Oh, like light bulb glass. Okay. Yeah. You know how sometimes you crunch on light bulb glass? Um I am making you fajitas. uh with no meat and no peppers. And so we've replaced the peppers with squash. So we have two different kinds of squash. I love fajitas. It's the only meal at a restaurant that makes that sings. Yeah. And we're going to make sure this sings. Uh so we're sautéing right now some delicata squash and some chiote squash. The way that I figure it if you would normally use bell pepper and fajita, bell pepper and squash are two uh like what they call new world plants, right? the entire world did not have any sort of pepper until the Columbian exchange and European settlers came to

the Americas. There were no chili peppers in all of Thailand. There were no tomatoes in Italy. There were no peppers in Hungary until, you know, the Columbian change happened. And so squash is another like great uh, you know, fajitas are obviously a Mexican dish. Squash is another like great plant of Mexico and the American empires or the Mesoamerican empires. So, I figured Thank you for that correction. This is just the stem of king trumpet mushrooms. So, we're kind of using this as our steak. Huh. You just want to give it a smell.

We got a lot of guys ask me that all the time. He's always like, "Come here. Give it a smell." I'm like, I don't know. I'm a very like tactile, experiential person. You know what I mean? What I love about a fajita plate is it's just so loud and it you order it and you get it in the restaurant and everyone turns cuz it's just this big sizzle and the smoke's coming up and it's the only food that's served to you on its own cast well there's a couple. It's one of the only foods served to you on a cast iron platter. They say, "Oh, it's really hot. Don't touch it." And you're like, "I'll be the judge of that." And then you burn yourself. Uh it's got a little oven.

It's got a little mitt on its handle. So fun. They tell you not to touch it, but I should. Right. Yeah. But I can't eat peppers. Yeah, buddy. Yeah. So, I split that guy on there. Ow. Zach, when I tell you don't touch this, it is actually a challenge to your masculinity. No, it's okay. I And you should touch it. I My masculinity never has never met a challenge it won't step down to. Leave it. Wait. Hold on. For the sizzle.

Little veg stock. By the way, I did not know that's how where the sizzle came from. And I sort of feel like I just found out Santa's not real. Check this out. What did you think the sizzle was? I don't know. I thought it was just I thought honestly I thought they cooked it on this and took it right out. I assume I mean maybe No, cuz that would be a lot. Uh they're cooking it in a big old vat in the back and they're just putting it on a hot plate. Look at that. And then we have your um dairy free, pepper free, capsain free condiment plate, which is just guacamole and an ice cream scoop of guacamole, which I think is very fun.

And then of course, we got your gluten-free tortillas here. All right, let's I'm very Let's dig in. I'm interested to try these mushrooms. You know what the key is to really like screw everyone over at your table is for the stack of tortillas, you reach right in the middle. Right in the middle. Yep. It's going to be the hottest one. That is what I do when I'm a huge piece of crap. The mushroom tastes like bacon.

Yeah. So that's probably all the smoke and the salt that we got on it. It's delicious. Is it good? It's really good. This tastes like cheap gristly steak kind of. You know what I mean? Yeah. The mushroom is too tough, I think, to honestly party with these guys. It kind of has to be a star on its own. Mhm. It's hard to It's It is challenging to chew through. But how many times you go to Philly and you get and this happens and trying to impress bartender.

It's yummy. Certified yummy. I know you love bread. I love bread. And I know you love pudding. I love pudding, man. And I know you love some bread pudding. Will you put them together? Oh, this is the reason I'm here. I'm so excited for this. I love bread pudding. And I have not had bread pudding in 12 years. It was my second date with my wife Maggie. I did not have the heart to tell her that I that dairy wrecked me. And we went to this bread pudding place on Sautel and it was the most delicious like literally last meal of my life. And then I said goodbye. I said hopefully I

get to marry that girl one day. I will be on the toilet for the next 64 hours. And I think butterfly effect, right? Had you not your brains out for 64 hours cuz the bread pudding, I don't think you and Maggie would be married. I wouldn't have a baby girl. Sometimes you got to your brains out for love. Instead of trying to make like a gluten-free bio or something should be hard. We just made a gluten-free banana bread. When I say we, I mean Colby made a vegan gluten-free banana bread and we're going to turn that into bread pudding. So, we're going to take some macadamia nut milk. You macadamia, which might be the best milk.

I think it's the best milk. It's also probably the most expensive thing in the world. Yeah. That's good. I think that we're ready to be post milk as a society, brother. I'm just getting started with milk. There's some people who are lactose intolerant. I'll lie yourself. And then there's some people that are hyper lactose tolerant like me. I think my people were just like built on milk. You know what I mean? That's you were you the poster boy for the '9s milk campaigns. I was talking the other day about um uh eating a big bowl of spaghetti with a giant glass of milk.

Did you have that experience? Big bowl of spaghetti, giant glass of milk. Yeah. Canned green beans with it. Boom. I guess I can picture it. Oh, frozen. I don't know. Telly. Tally grew up like that. Look, I just cuz I'm this guy now whose body's broken and wants to kill him. I don't want you to think I don't know how to party. I used to make craft mac and cheese and just take the pot off the pot right onto my belly and let it sort of heat my belly and then I would sit on the couch and watch Game Show Network and shovel the whole box into my stupid little mouth.

Yeah, they call it otter style, you know, just kind of like cracking clams on your tummy. What's on the Game Show Network? Paint me a picture here. Oh, well, okay. Obviously, lots of Family Feud reruns, but baggage. anybody? It's a Okay. It was a Jerry Springer hosted dating show where uh it was a guy and three women or a woman and three guys. They never did gay couples on that show. Yeah, that was before we knew that you could do that. And they So, let's say it was a girl, there'd be three guys with briefcases and they would open up one at a time and it was their emotional baggage. So, it'd be like, I own 164

action figures. and she'd be like, "That's too much baggage for me." And then they would eliminate one by one. And the baggage got more intense as it went on. And then at the end, then the person who was picking her date, they would then reveal her baggage and then the date would decide, do I want to go out with you? They turn it on them. I watched about 100 episodes of that. So, we're kind of mashing up the bread a little bit. We let dehydrate. But the bread pudding spot that you're talking about, it's called Be Sweet Dessert Bar. Yeah. Um on Saut and I have not been in a decade plus. And they have a very like um what I can only call like a homogeneous style of bread pudding where it's like very they scoop it from a large vat into a cup.

And so we're trying to sort of recreate that vat style but in a cast iron and some vegan butter. I think it's going to be good. I'm just mashing. It's not that it's not mashy like that. Oh, okay. We're going to go ahead and put this in the oven. But then uh you know sometimes you put something in the oven and it sort of it changes shape. Changes shape. It sort of reconstructs because of molecules are actually tightening up. So why don't you got if you made that camera slightly out of focus? I think then people wouldn't know that we're about to swap it out.

Do you want me to smudge some Vaseline? on the lens? Would that help? Can just come up and kind of Hold on. Let me just kind of if I can just kind of like get this finger on the Yeah. So, as you can see, this looks different. Well, I'll show you the one that I made. What I love about bread pudding is when you put in the oven, it actually reforms. Well, hold on. I So, what happened was we had a fully made one. Welcome to TV shows. Finally, after 6 years, we can admit that sometimes when I say we're going to put this corn beef in the brine for 2 weeks that we actually have one that we've already made. Uh, so, so the bread pudding looked like that. I mashed mine into a paste cuz I'm not going to lie, I kind of lost my head for a second.

Mhm. But I kind of want to try both. Yeah, I think you kind of fluffed that up, you know. I You're laughing. This does look like what I would make. I Listen, this is beautiful. And we're going to put a little bit of This is homemade ice cream. Homemade vegan ice cream. Come on. You don't work out for nothing. No, I know. I really do work out for nothing. I work out to quiet the mind. There we go. Oh my goodness. I think I should put that in the oven. And then we're going to take a little bit of vegan caramel right on top.

I am so excited. And you said a little bit which was fun. And then Well, check it out though. We also have this. Look it. We have it. Like if you just want to get a little bit on. This is coconut condensed milk. This is sweetened condensed coconut milk. And so here we have our two um two bread puddings. This is the one that Colby made and then I guess this is mine. And are you So does the coconut milk doesn't go on this one? If you'd like it. I don't know. Doesn't drizzle as well as I thought. I what if you do like Yeah. Like Okay. Well, and now we're just sword fighting.

Does this remind you of Good Times with your wife? Don't do that. What? He's talking about his first date. Krepos. All right, here we go. I'm excited. I mean, I don't even know if I remember what this tastes like. It's been so long. That means anything's going to taste good. Oh yeah. What? Oh yeah. That was awesome, dude. Dude, I had cold. I did. I did nothing. I got to stop pretending like I were doing Oh my god. That's awesome, dude. I want to try yours. Well, this that's less awesome, but still really good.

Yeah. Hey, what are you going to do? You know, this is so good. I want to like I want to roll around in blankets while I eat it. Should we have some blankets? I kind of want to be naked. Three blankets for Zach. It's so good that I want to take my clothes. Three blankets, no clothes. Thank you so much. Oh my god. Where would you rank all the dishes that we've made today as far as how much they satisfied compared to the original?

Interesting. Well, there's like how delicious it is and then how good it is of a proxy for the original. Some of the food replacements are better dupes than others. They're all delicious, but what's accurate? This is number one by far. Both in how delicious it is, but also I think most people would taste this and not know that it was a different recipe. Yeah, this is like restaurant ready. This is excellent. What the hell else did we eat? We did the mushroom. The coffee. The coffee was a revelation for me. Coffee was I guess coffee is number two even though that wasn't its own dish.

Yeah. The burrito I think is number two breakfast overall. Like that to me was as good as any burrito I would order and it did the thing. Chicken parm. If we just want to say like a panko crusted chicken that was great. Not having parm on a chicken parm. Like it was a different dish. It was a different thing. Um, and then the fajitas were also delicious, but probably number four in that it just sort of became its own new food.

Too far a field on the Google Translate, I think. So, but really good. I would eat those mushrooms again. You can come back here for mushrooms anytime. And also, on a sincere note, we do want to have you on last meals regardless of how many views this has. I mean, if this video like really tanks, like then we'll talk, but like regardless of views, um, we've always wanted to have you on. It's just a scheduling issue. 5 million is the new bar. Just YouTube long form shorts. I mean, they pay you. It's really like if we get a YouTube short from this to get to 70 million views.

Yeah, 70 million. You better do something real wacky right now, dude. Uh, Zack Julie, man, thank you so much for coming by. Oh my, what are you talking about? Thank you for having me. This was Did I just rip my mic out? Skateboard over here? I ripped my mic out and it ripped some of my chest hair off. Listen, what happened? Thank you so much for having me, Josh. This was a pleasure. Oh, look. You can actually see my chest hair. Oh my god. Oh, that's grotesque.

Oh, those are It look like fiber optic. Uh, just go ahead and hide those. Yeah, kind of tuck those back in. Tuck those. I'll just kind of guard the bread pudding. People are going to eat that. There it is. Thank you so much for having me, Josh. 5 million views. Thank you so much for having me, Josh. Thank you to the whole mythical kitchen crew. This was delicious. Um, I am going to just sort of sit here quietly and finish this bread pudding while you guys clean and I won't offer to help. And thank you. Zach said he's going to actually clean up the entire kitchen.

He's going to do every single dish and that's how he gets on last meals. Um, now this is right. Everyone check out Second Try. What else you got to plug? We just made a murder mystery show. It's our version of Traitors, but also a bunch of other social deduction games. And I think it's the best thing we've made in years. It's called Killer Dinner. When people are murdered off, they are poisoned by cutting into their food. And if they're safe, it's safe. But if they're the ones that have been killed, it either bleeds or oozes or there's some other fun surprise in there. So, you have a bunch of people

trying to figure out who is lying and who's telling the truth. It's awesome. Uh first and second episode are probably out on our channel by the time this is coming out. So, go check it out. Oh, Josh is on our new season of Phoning It In. He's in two episodes. Uh and so he was in a phone booth and then was in our ears trying to tell us how to make delicious food. That was tough. That was a hard one. Yeah, that was a tough one. Uh but so funny. He killed that. Yeah. Uh, once again, you figured out how to get in a judge that I idolize to humiliate me.

Yeah. Twice in a row. It's a great time. Check out our latest episode of A Hot Dog as a Sandwich out now. That's right, Josh. It's time for this little piggy. Okay, one more time. for