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Have you ever felt afraid? You know, heart racing, thoughts spiraling, and then immediately assumed something bad was about to happen. There's a subtle distinction that can change how you respond in moments like that. Let's talk about it. You're listening to Relish, the podcast for people ready to stop chasing self-improvement and start savoring their lives. If you're tired of the hamster wheel of healing and hungry for more joy, presence, and meaning, you're in the right place. Hey, it's Alysia and welcome to Relish. This podcast is about relishing life, of course. And one of the biggest things that gets in the way of that is fear.
Stepping off the hamster wheel, shedding patterns, living more authentically, taking risks to become a truer version of yourself. All of that, of course, can bring up fear. And fear at times can be debilitating, but often I found it's not fear that's actually the problem. It's that we mistake fear for threat. So in this quick bite, we're going to define these two states in simple embodied terms. We'll explore how to tell them apart in real time. And I'll give you a practice that you can use today to break the illusion and come back into presence. Before we dive in, if you enjoy this episode, please follow or subscribe uh
download wherever you listen. And if it moves you, we really appreciate you taking a moment to leave a five-star rating and a short review. That's really how Relish grows and finds more people like you. People who are committed to learning and growing and wanting to cultivate more joy. So, thank you. So, let's break this down. These two terms, we've got threat, real threat, which is an actual immediate risk to your safety or survival. It's something physically or ecologically dangerous or a situation where there's some kind of tangible consequence right here in this moment. True threat activates that primal survival response in your nervous system. That classic fight orflight response where your adrenaline spikes,
your heartbeat increases, your muscles tense. It's that whole uh biological cascade that evolved to protect us from real danger. Danger like a predator or falling or being physically harmed in some way. So that's threat. Now fear on the other hand that is what your brain and body do when they perceive a threat and then your nervous system reacts to that perception. So fear is a subjective feeling triggered by those neural pathways that are linking the sensory input that you're getting to some emotional response. It's a sensation that you're experiencing. It's not the danger itself. This perception happens automatically. It's so fast. It's before we can consciously evaluate whether there's actually even any danger
present. So in simple terms, threat is the actual danger. Fear is your experience of it. Now I see this come up a lot in my practice. People confuse fear and threat. Not the words but the concepts. And that confusion can keep them stuck and in this survival mode when really what they're experiencing is just a nervous system sensation, not actual danger. So a shift to consider is when you're in real danger, notice how you don't pause to wonder is this fear, is this threat, you know, to consider what it could be. You just react. You run. You freeze. You fight. There's no reflective question because your system is already mobilized. But if you can stop and ask the question, is this an actual threat or is
this fear? That capacity in and of itself tells you something important. If you can pause long enough to reflect, what am I responding to right now? A threat in this moment or a fear about something that hasn't happened yet. That's often a sign that you're dealing with fear, not threat. If you can ask the question, you're already out of survival mode, back in the thinking brains territory. And that's really significant. That's presence. You're back in presence. And presence is a doorway out of the compulsive fearfueled reactivity. So here's an embodied way to kind of tell the difference because threat and fear, they can feel similar in the body, but I find they differ in quality. So for myself, threat tends to be really
fast. It's narrow. It's decisive. The body moves before we can even think. There's a sense of real urgency. And for that reason, it can lead to a sense of like tunnel vision. Uh and there's not a lot of space to think. You know, like you're being chased, you're going to run. Fear on the other hand it is more often a sustained future oriented experience like threat in the present moment I'm running for me with fear it's about what might happen my body's activated but there's might still be enough space to notice what's happening I can actually think I can coexist with the fear I can question in it I can pause so an embodied clue to explore is do I feel forced to take immediate action or am I feeling activation or noticing
the impulse but can I actually pause people tend to carry fear as if it were truth like I feel fear so something must be wrong but what you're feeling in that moment is your nervous system reacting to a perceived threat not real danger and mislabeling the fear as threat just not the words but the concepts keeps your system in that fight or flight unnecessarily and then it impacts your body, your mind, your relationships, your capacity to act with clarity. So, how do we work with this in real time? Here are a couple tools you can check out for yourself. Not to get rid of the fear, but so that you can relate to it differently and start to discern what's actually happening. First is that presence question. Stop, take a breath,
and ask, is this an actual threat right now or is this fear? The very act of asking with some curiosity brings you back into your body, back into the present moment. And you can add on a little embodied check. You could take a slow breath and just notice, can I feel my feet right now? Can I feel myself sitting? If you can, if you can sense the room and notice your breath, that's a strong sign you are not in immediate danger. Your nervous system might be activated, but you're here. Second, you can breathe with awareness. Taking slower inhales, slower exhales, especially longer exhales than inhales. That tells your nervous system, I'm here. I'm safe. I can engage with what's
actually here right now. Third is name the sensation. Just name the emotion even. I'm feeling fear. And notice where you feel it in your body. Where is it? Is it in your chest? In your throat, in your belly. Is it tingly? Is it tight? Is it constricting? That alone shifts the neural patterns and reduces the grip of the emotional intensity. So, a simple way to think about this. When you're in real threat, your body's going to react before you think. When you're in fear, it is possible to take some space to notice what's happening. So, here's a personal example. Um, just recently, I noticed a large uh charge on my credit
card statement, one that I did not recognize. I definitely didn't make. And the moment I saw it, my body reacted immediately. Instantly, like my stomach dropped, my chest tightened, my thoughts started racing. uh and I couldn't get a hold of the credit card company and for a couple days I was stuck in this waiting limbo. Now in my body it felt the sensations felt like threat like something bad is happening right now and it needs to be addressed. My system was flooded with worst case scenarios like what if this doesn't get fixed? What if um I'm out thousands of dollars? What if I can't pay my rent? Um this whole spiral. And when things eventually resolved, as they did, of course, I
could look back and see more clearly that while of course there was a real problem that needed to be addressed, there was no immediate danger in that moment, no threat. The charge had already gone through, there was nothing more I could do really than, you know, beyond the steps I'd already taken, I was safe. What my body was responding to in that reaction was not the present moment. It was not present moment threat. It was an imagined future outcome. My nervous system was reacting as if, you know, this catastrophe were imminent even though there was no immediate risk to my safety or survival. That's fear, not threat. Okay, so that's important because my body didn't know
the difference. I could learn to see it once I slowed down enough to ask the question. And that awareness created some space, some space to breathe, to respond more clearly, and to not let fear run the show. Your nervous system can't reliably tell the difference between the imagined danger and real danger, but you can once you're conscious enough to pause and check. That's where your power is. So today, what we've covered is threat is real. It's present danger. It's your brain's survival system at work. Fear is the feeling that your system creates, often not tied to real danger. If you can pause and ask the question, is this fear or is this threat? You're already moving
out of fear and back into presence. So, next time you notice your, you know, body tighten up or your thoughts accelerate or even a mood dip, maybe you can use this distinction as a cue, a chance to check in, not to like make the fear go away. It might be they're telling you something important, but to relate to it differently and ask yourself honestly, am I safe right now? And if you are, then keep breathing. And even if you're not, keep breathing. Okay, but that's your quick bite for today. Before you go, I want to ask for a small favor. Okay, I am trying to learn more about what resonates with you so that I can cater this podcast content to you. So, I created a very short
survey that lets you share with me what is resonating. It is super short. It takes less than a minute. And if this podcast has supported you in any way, I really appreciate you taking just a minute to fill it out. The link is in the show notes. I'm going to be taking the responses very seriously and I appreciate you letting me know what resonates. If you found this helpful, please don't forget to follow or subscribe. If it resonated, share it with someone. Share it on your social. Please rate five stars. Leave a little review. It makes a huge difference, a bigger difference than you know. Have a great rest of your day. And until next time, please be present, be embodied, and relish your beautiful life.
