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- Hi, Steve and Kim. Well, in the beginning of my relationship, everything seemed to be grand. Recently I noticed some funny business as I feel my boyfriend asked me for passwords for my social media sites and email, phone. Mind you, he has a lock on his phone and I don't, and I don't have his password. Not only that, he hasn't been coming home until like seven o'clock in the morning on certain nights. So, yeah. And he works at second and shift, so he should be getting off like 11, you know, getting home 1130 at night. And I don't see him completely the next morning, - Kim.
- Well, you know, I, first of all, I'm just, I'm done with all the, he needs your passwords, but you're not asking for his, you don't have - Right. And - I've - Given them to him. That's the thing. - Like - I've actually given him the email, - The - Password, everything, everything to log into my social - Media account. Girl is such an old, that's like the 1957 player move. - I feel like it. - That's called a deflect move. He's on you so he can go do everything he wants to do.
Right? I need your passwords. I know you're cheating. I know you're doing this. And lemme tell you something about a man. Ain't no man out till seven o'clock in the morning with his dudes, unless they hunt and deer. Lemme tell you what, the only thing he's hunting is cat. Okay. If you don't think that, lemme tell you something. Stevie Wonder can see. That's a red flag.
Go on. S Steve, don't - Go. Don't. First of all this, seven o'clock in the morning. Come - On. - You know, I mean, I mean, let's be real. Come on now. Nobody comes in at 7:00 AM You ain't coming in from nowhere. You've been somewhere, - Right? Every time I ask though, the response I get back is, he's the man. It's none of my business. Do - You Snoop, do you do the snippet? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whoa, - Sorry. Go - Ahead. - He's a man. And it's none of your - Business.
- Yeah, - And I've gotten, I've gotten a excuse a couple times. Is like casino out with the friends drinking? - No, no. - Wait a minute. Wait, wait. - Kel. Kelsey, the only way a man gets to say this to you twice is you listen to it the first time. - Oh, - Oh, oh, oh. There is no way preach. There is no way I can ever come into that house with that woman I'm married to at 7:00 AM and be able to tell her that twice.
It's a red flag. Yours is a red flag to music. - Well, thank you. Yes. - You, you a - Pompom - Girl. - I guess I just need to hear it. Confirmed - That. No, - You're not. - I get the pompom red flags for that one. I guess. Yeah, - You needed that. Why? Why, why don't you get somebody else? - I mean, I guess you could say it stuck around 'cause I love them and I hopes it would work out.
- No, no, no. Trying to be naive. No, no, no. Listen to me. Whole situation. Listen to me. He don't love you. Right. See, it's, it's okay to be in love with somebody, but when the person you in love with don't love you. What we talking about here? See, men ain't gonna change. Not like that. If he loved you, he'd change. If he don't love you, he don't change. I done said this a hundred times on the show, but here you go again. Every man can change. Every man will change. But there's only one woman we will change. For the rest of you get whatever it is and you are getting whatever it is,
- It's time to leave that one then - Leave him. Red flag. - Thank you. - Lisa. What's your question? - Hi, Steven. Kim. Hi. I've done a lot of online dating about 14, 15 years with not a lot of success until about six months ago. I met a guy and, and we have great conversations. We have a, a great rapport. However, at night the conversation tends to shift to phone sex. I'm not real comfortable with that. I've never even met him.
Is this a red flag or am it just being approved? - She took, she I what? You didn't just say first. Did she say prude? Are you still staring at her after 15 years? I said I'm gonna need to fan you. Did you say 15 years? First of all, 15 years and you ain't been successful. I need you to do something else. Okay. 15 years online. No, you gotta understand online dating is only a, a, a supplement for dating. That's it. You need to put a good bra on and go to Home Depot.
Look at this, look at this. That's number one. And he only talking to you in the daytime night. He is either married or in jail. I need you to check that out. And then when he at nighttime, he's talking to you and then he wants phone sex. Now I'm not saying phone sex ain't bad 'cause you know, as a woman we could be watching TV and eating a twinie so it ain't really bad. But let me tell you something baby. That ain't no red flag. That is cold red. Woo.
It's a flag. Flag on the plate. You got a 10 yard penalty flag on the plate. - How do you have, don't worry about what I got Damn near a tablecloth. I thought you had pulled your bra off. I saw you reaching. I said Camden took her damn bra - Off. No, no, no, no. If I took my bra off, it'd been just completely black in here. We'd had to go to commercial. - He could be like my aunt. My aunt used to come in and she's staying with us for three weeks.
She had to get a job. She came in one time. I was a little boy. I had never seen it 'cause my mama never took her bra off in front of me. Oh. She had her clothes on and popped her bra and man, I was a little boy. It was like somebody had opened up a life raft in the room. - Shut, shut, shut out. - I'm leaving. I gotta go get you. What you not gonna do? You not gonna do that. The whole damn living room got crowded.
Fuck. Abby, tell us about your relationship. - Okay, so I've been seeing this guy long distance. We talked through texts and through social media because he's a marine, outside of state. So he started acting a little bit different recently after I asked him about his ex-girlfriend and why her profile pic is of them as a couple. When I asked him that, he said, she's just crazy. You know, I don't talk to her anymore. So I'm just wondering 'cause I'm starting to have my doubts. Is that a red flag of her posting pictures of them as a couple Sila?
- I don't think so. I mean, are you exclusive with him? Have you made that agreement? - No, not yet. - So then you don't have, don't go on her social media. - Okay. - Once you have that conversation and you make that decision to be exclusive, then you can ask those questions. Okay. But now you should be seeing other people as well. I, I believe in dating. Yeah. I believe in dating, not necessarily sleeping with people, but I believe in dating because it takes, okay, that's good.
Yeah, because it takes, I agree. It takes time to get to know a person. - How old is this guy? - He is 20, about to be 22. - Okay. First of all, no guy is sitting at the house by his men. Don't do me time. - Yeah. - When you meet a guy, know that he's involved with someone, know that, don't say, well, he's not seeing anyone. What, what guy is not seeing anyone? What guy does that? When do we go? I'm just not gonna see anybody. I just got to get myself together dog.
What? Okay. It doesn't happen. Okay. So Ana is absolutely correct in that. Okay, you don't have an exclusivity with him. Don't expect it. If it gets any more serious, then you have to get a commitment. And then if it's an exclusivity then you have every Right. But I think she's 100% right. All right. So I don't think it's a red flag. No, - I don't think it's a red flag. Okay. - Alright, let's go to Eunice. Eunice, what has you questioning things? - Well, I've been dating the most amazing man for the past two years.
He goes above and beyond for me and my kids. My kids and my mom adore him, which is very important to me. He's very old fashioned, which I love. He opens every door for me. He always holds my hand. He won't let me pay for anything. He is very cuddly. You know, we have passionate kisses, hello and goodbye. But he never spends the night and the He's - Two years. He's never spent the night in two years? No. No sex. Oh,
have you, have you ever addressed this? - Yes, I have. - And what did he say? - He just feels a relationship shouldn't be based on sex. You build more of a bond when you get to know each other first. - But it's been two years. - Right. - Does this bother you or do are - You fine? He did in the beginning, but after we talked about it, I'm fine. I mean, he is so amazing. It's worth waiting for whenever he feels comfortable. Do you think it's - Ever gonna happen?
- I, I'm not sure. - It sounds like he's an amazing man and I that's very hard to come by. Yeah. He takes care of you and your kids and he's a gentleman and he's consistent. Those are all really amazing things. But do you wanna live your life? Do a beautiful, sexy woman with a man who doesn't make love to you? I mean, are you willing to give that up for all of those other qualities? It's fine if you are, but you have to really kind of, I think you're gonna have to at this point, come to terms that with the fact that it's not gonna happen - Two years, no sex.
Who he sleeping with? I dunno. Who is he sleeping? He married? - No, he's, he, - He's, he's not married. - He's not, he lives about 30 minutes from my house. He's never been married and has no kids. - Oh, are you sure he is not gay? - No, he's, he's, hello? No. - Where is he at during the parade? Oh, - He
- But sweetheart. Oh, for real. Sinah has a point. You have to go to him and say, this is what I need. Not only just to hell with what I need, this is what I want. - What I know for sure is that time flies. And so my whole thing is you decide what you want and if it's not what you want, then make a move. The pain will be, you know what the pain is, but you get over it. Right? Because this is your life. I think women do this a lot.
We put things in the future like it's going to happen one day, but the behavior is the proof. A man votes with their actions, not their words. So for two years he's been showing you something. - I like that A man votes with his action. Beautiful lady. I would check into it, get what you want out the deal. I thank both of you for being honest. You deserve to get what you want though. And you're gonna get it, but you get it when you demand it. - Yep. - Thank you very much Eunice and Abby.
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