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Okay guys, I just watched a video of myself that was on my phone from January. And guys, as most people know, I am an alcoholic. And um I tried to make a video talking about it, trying to help people and trying to show my journey. Went terrible. Honestly, it is so difficult. But right now, guys, I am 4 months sober and looking at the video, I look like a completely different person. Honestly, I'm making this part of it so I don't jump scare you cuz it looks terrible. Oh my god. And I'm going to leave it on cut, too, because it shows just like how ill I was. Like I almost threw up on myself in the video.
Um, but yeah, guys, love you all. Hopefully I can help some people with all of this. Um, wait all the way till the end of the video. I'm going to show you guys kind of what happened after that. Terrible. But 4 months now. If I can do it, guys, any of you can do it, too. Let's go. Hey, what's up, guys? It's Pat, and welcome back to another video. It's been a very long time. And um this is probably going to be, I would assume, the most important video that I do make. Um and as you guys could tell, I look pretty beaten up. Um I didn't really try to fix myself up at all for this video cuz I wanted to show how I've been treating myself, I guess.
Um as you can tell, this is going to be the first time anyways. Um my skin looks pretty bad right now. And also all the gray hairs. It's been that way since I started the channel. I just dyed it. Um I just no one ever noticed which I think is kind of funny. Anyways, um I'm an alcoholic and um I never really acknowledged it, although there's definitely information online about it. Um, the only reason I'm making this video is I figure, um, I could save probably thousands of lives talking about my journey, um, of, uh, sobriety. Um, today will be day one of no substance abuse of any kind. I spent a lot of time drinking
in the last five years. When I say a lot of time, I mean probably as much as everybody on the channel combined. Um, or more possibly. Definitely or more. So, I thought I would be able to be helpful to people. So, hopefully you guys will follow me on a journey of sobriety. have some very funny stories as well and some very not funny stories cuz there's some horrible things that could happen to you and some fun times as well. Obviously, anything in moderation is okay, but when you abuse something, you really can screw up your life. And my life went down quickly. Also, just to point this out
because it bothers me. It's kind of hard to tell, but I live like a heroin addict. Um, like look at this bruising I have here. The hospital did such a bad job poking me with that thing. I have it on both arms actually. Well, this one's a little bit lower. I don't know if you could tell, but um yeah, I'm not a heroin addict. I just have a really bad doctor apparently. Well, I blame the Mayo Clinic, uh, which is supposed to be one of the best doctors in the world, but apparently they're terrible. Horrible. I wouldn't suggest them at all. At least the one in Florida. But any I've been sick, too. But anyways, today's going to be day one of uh no substances. Um, I couldn't start this earlier. Um, impossible. Uh,
I was just too ill. like uh when you abuse sub substances like alcohol um you get very sick um when you stop them no matter how you stop them um there's two ways to do it um well there's a million ways to do it but basically most people would recommend you know um going to rehab which um obviously uh is something very hard to do but I would recommend it to anyone um who has any substance abuse issues or um recommend it to anyone in their family that does um it's going to be hard to convince them to do it. I did not do it because I was too far gone anyways. Like they wouldn't have been able to uh get me out of the house. Um I developed a really bad um agorophobia from drinking. Um, and if you're not familiar
with that term, basically what it means is um, it's like a fear of like leaving where you like live. Um, which affected me horribly. I actually like I spent months in hotel rooms and stuff where I would just wouldn't leave the room and I would just order to the room. Like I wasted like you see YouTubers waste money on things. I wasted money on Door Dash and hotel rooms like which is fine. Like I'm not making this video because I need money in any sort of the way. I didn't go extravagant and get drunk. I didn't like my good the one good thing is that I didn't get drunk and just start buying expensive things. I didn't
buy one expensive thing. I bought a lot of weird things. I'm not going to lie. I got a little Amazon addictiony. Um but who hasn't these days? Um but basically this is how it started. Um normal dude. I was my first took my first drink at like 30, which is crazy. Anyways, um had nothing to do with my divorce, by the way, which a lot of people seem to think it did. Um had absolutely nothing to do with that. And you know, I was having fun going on dates. Um I would have some drinks. Um then it just kind of snowballed.
It started kind of slow until it went boom. Um, so yeah, anything in moderation is okay. It's okay to go out, have a couple drinks with your friends. It's not okay to go out every single day and get wasted. Um, which is basically what it turned into for me. Uh especially as someone uh like me who uh made a lot of money young in life, I had the opportunity to go out pretty much every single day and um drink a lot. I drank a ton. I It started slow. It started me just uh drinking with friends and you know, we'd all drink about like the same amount of alcohol. I'm really competitive. uh the competitive part of me may have contributed to um some of the alcoholism as well where all of a sudden like instead of drinking like a few drinks,
all of a sudden I'm drinking 20 drinks, 30 drinks, 40 drinks. Um it really snowballed to the point where I would be drinking like three bottles of alcohol a day. Um and ending out in the hospital. Um I was in the hospital many times. um uh they don't really do too much for you either to be honest, but I would recommend going if you really have drank that much. Um in my uh experience is what they do is they give you a water IV, maybe some vitamins, and then they um send you on your way. Depending on your level of alcoholism, they may give you um uh some pills to help you feel better as you come down from all the drinking that you did. Um and those pills are also very
addictive. And the first time I ever went to the doctor, not the doctor, the hospital, I decided not to take them. Um because I was like why would I want to get addicted to a second substance that like that doesn't make a like I'm a like I'm addicted to everything I do. I was addicted to YouTube when I did it. I was addicted to working out when I was working out and all of that. Like every single thing when I date girls I'm addicted to them. Like what? Like I already I'm intelligent enough as a human being to be like okay like if I take this then you so now what do you mean addicted to two things or you get me off the first thing and I'm just addicted to something new because they're very addictive substances that
they um that they give to you. Um, the other option is going off alcohol cold turkey, which is not recommended at all because it makes you I mean you could die. Uh, seizures, um, convulsions. So, I would not recommend that to anyone either really like going in for help is always going to be the best option and the best suggestion to give to somebody, but it's very difficult to get them to do it. No one ever was able to get me to do it. Um, I'm also very stubborn, so you may have better luck than I have. The best thing that you can do is be supportive in any way possible. Um, you I've noticed pretty much nothing anyone ever said to me was very helpful. Only people that because they didn't understand what was
going on in my head, why I was drinking, um, why it was and it makes you depressed. It's a depressant. So you end up depressed at the end of the day anyways. Um just yelling at someone and telling them like you need to stop doing this, you're ruining your life. Makes you pick up that bottle like you're not helping. You're doing the exact opposite. Anyways, I just had a massive like cough attack. But um yeah, that's not the way to support someone. You can support someone by telling them like um you'd like to, you know, help them. Anyway, just had a massive cough attack. Um but like I was saying, like that's really not supportive just because it makes someone want to drink more when
you say things like that. You have to be supportive in a different way. I've noticed the most supportive people actually have been other people who are addicts who actually understood like how I felt while why I was drinking and how hard it is to come off the drinking. Just telling someone, "Hey, stop drinking. It's bad for you." Um, yeah, you try go throwing up all day long like and being just on the floor unable to move. Like you just can't do that. Um, another way people get off uh drinking is weaning themselves off. That is something I've done many times and that was the only thing that's been successful for me and it's not it's nothing I would recommend to anyone either because it's extremely dangerous
because you could die at home at your house. Um, that is um but I'm still going to mention every single thing that happened. Um, for me, um, that would just be, let's say you drink 20 drinks a day, then next day you drink 19, then 18, then 17, then 16, till you're down to no drinks. So, your body is not used to having alcohol in the system anymore. Um, that is also extremely hard to do because any one who's me, like I'm a very emotional person. I'm an emotional drinker. I'm I'm an everything drinker. I'm going to lie. I'm an excited drinker. like anything going on, any excuse I have like, oh, girlfriend broke up with me, bottle. Oh my god, the my sports team won bottle. Like, you
know, uh, and it's very hard to convince yourself to, uh, it stops you. You really have to take a look at your life and see where you were before it. And, you know, I'm like that fall from grace, uh, is quite painful to look at. Um, and I tried many times. I got off alcohol. I went through alcohol withdrawals, I would say, I don't know, 30, 40 times. And every time you say like, wow, I'll never put myself through this again. And, you know, you really have to want it. And um, another reason I'm not only to help people um, with this um, this is to hold myself accountable.
I know this will help me more than anything is being able to help other people. Uh I don't need to drink to go out and have fun. Like you don't I did it for years. There's no reason to go get wasted either. Even if you do go out and want to have a couple drinks, there's no reason to get completely plastered. You just you don't remember the night anyways. There's weeks and months at t of time that I don't remember at all. Sometimes you do really stupid things. Um, in the last year I've been arrested. I've been to the mental hospital. I've been to the hospital multiple times. Um, it's not good things like in your life. And I've I have a lot to say about it, honestly. But, um, this
is only going to be the first video. There's a lot of stories, a lot of um things that may be helpful to you that I will try to explain because I kind of went into this just winging it. Honestly, I' I literally have like been drinking my life away for the last like few years. So, I didn't put a huge amount of effort into this video, not to lie to you. Um, but I do have a lot of information that I can give you um about drugs and alcohol and um anyways guys, you could always make your life better. Remember that. No reason to drink yourself to oblivion. No reason to have any substance um that alters your state of mind because it's very important.
Anyways, I love you guys. That's why I'm here. Um hope to see you soon. Peace. And for those wondering, the reason I stopped is because I realized I didn't have long to live, I probably with the way things were going and how downhill things were, I probably didn't have more than a couple weeks before I would be dead. Um, and I'm definitely not ready to leave this world, and I hope none of you guys are either. So, let's live the best lives we can. So, basically, in these pictures, you're going to see that I was incredibly out of shape. I lost all the muscle on my body. The doctor said I would be dead. By the time I was 40, my liver was failing. My pancreas had pancreatitis. Um, I was doing bad,
like really, really bad. And then I ended out in jail within a week of making that video before I ended out in rehab. Um, but guys, check those pictures out and um, yeah, stick around. I'm going to show my journey with you guys. Love you guys.
