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I never look at old photographs of myself. I had to fetch these out of the loft. Even these, I find things like this. I was in my 20ies when I took that photograph. I remember everything about that evening. I was in a really, really bad place. A really, really bad place. This picture doesn't paint too optimistic a scene, either does it. You see, I always felt different. I didn't understand why I couldn't deal sometimes with the anger and the frustration. And I think that perhaps many neurodeiverse people whether it's ADHD, dyslexia or autism, before they understand that condition, before they get the support they require, they can feel really isolated. And I suppose in simple terms, if I could sum it up, the one reason
that I'm making this program, it would be this photograph because I don't want anyone else to be feeling what I'm feeling in that moment. Two years ago, I made a series helping autistic people like me to my mom share their inner worlds. We love you. I love you. With the people they love. Proud of you. Now I want other neurodyivergent people to have the same opportunity. One in seven of us have brains that work differently with more people being diagnosed with conditions like autism, dyslexia, and ADHD than ever before. Yet
all too often we find ourselves misunderstood, reduced to stereotypes, made to feel like we don't fit in. Neurode divergent people are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, even suicidal thoughts. So, I want to do everything I can to tackle this hidden crisis. And I'm starting with ADHD. Banging. Working with top filmmakers. Every day it feels like I'm fighting my brain. Designers and animators. That's me. I'm giving two people with ADHD the chance to bring their experiences to life. The ADHD was playing havoc up here.
They'll create powerful short films. I'm just so proud of you. Oh, come that reveal to their family and friends. Wow. How they're really feeling inside. Brilliant. Oh, thank you. And give us all a better understanding of ADHD minds. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a rather unhelpful name for ADHD. I don't like calling it a disorder. It's more of a difference in the way the brain works. And people with ADHD don't have a deficit of attention.
They struggle to regulate their attention. Their minds quickly jumping from one thing to the next. I'm going to meet Henry. I'm very excited about that. He was diagnosed with ADHD during his A levels. He tried medication, but he didn't like how it made him feel. Henry lives in London. Oh, referee with his flatmate Callum for a free kick here. originally from Oxford, close with his parents, but he doesn't let them see the real Henry because he's embarrassed.
Sadly, um I think that might be true of many people who are neurodyiverse. Henry works as a tour guide. Hello. Lovely to meet you. How we doing? Lovely to meet you, m Henry. And today I'm joining his group. Are we ready to go and uh explore some of Soho? Yeah. Yep. Fantastic. Should we head off this way? Follow me. The rain is doing little to dampen Henry's spirits. This here is the windmill. And in 1932, Laura Henderson turned it into a cabaret club.
Welcome guys to not only Ronny Scots, but world famous Ronny Scots. He's confident, witty, and knowledgeable. This is a fascinating pub. This is Rock and Roll HQ. We are hanging on his every word. Thank you so much for coming on the tour. Let's go get a beer. Love it. Thank you very much. This abundance of energy is often associated with the hyperactive side of ADHD, and it's wonderful that Henry has found a way to channel it into his work. That tour was absolutely brilliant. All of the dates, all of the names, all of
the anecdotes delivered with consumer confidence. So good. Anyway, I'm going to nip back in for my pint. Not that I've got really got a pint cuz I don't drink pints in pubs. I'm only pretending to say that for the program. But what I'm not seeing in Henry are any signs of a struggle. I wonder if there are other times in his life when having ADHD isn't quite as helpful. Hello Chris. How we doing? Hello. Come on in stuff. Just Yeah. Just down the stairs. I've invited myself round to Henry's flat to dig a little deeper.
Right. They're just around the bend. Got a broad taste in music. I love music. It's quite a constant in my life. Is it tuna? But if they're not swimming, they drown. Sharks. Sorry. I feel like that with music. If I'm moving or I'm doing anything, there's music. It's a soundtrack to the chaos. Put it that way. Can I sit here? Yes, absolutely, mate. Take a seat. Okay. Can we be specific about the ADHD and how it manifests in your day-to-day life? Then I think frustration is a huge part of my life cuz every day is a bit of a kind of
task to get through it and not to mess up massively. What is a mess up? Oh, you know, you forget your keys, you forget your wallet. Being late for work, the amount of times I've missed parties that my friends have organized months in advance for their birthdays. I missed a dissertation meeting at university uh cuz I woke up and all I could think about was I wanted breakfast which is rare for me. I never eat breakfast. Banged up a sausage snee. Awesome. Had having an amazing time. Meanwhile, 25 minutes calls on my phone. Uh and everything going mental. The night before I went to bed, I thought, I've got my dissitation meeting tomorrow. I knew it was in my head, but
it just didn't break the surface in the morning until it was too late and I'd missed it. I hated myself for that. I was so upset by it. I have no control over it, it seems. I just see everyone else around me flying along and doing everything. What do you mean flying along? I just uh I feel like I'm floundering a little bit in the sense that what you're not as successful at managing your life or your career or all of the above. This is a very different Henry from the self assured man I met on the tour. Many people with ADHD speak about having difficulty with everyday tasks.
Remembering appointments, getting out of the house, sorting the laundry, trying to find a coat, 20p if you need it. These are all things that all of us struggle with now and again, but for Henry, they dominate his life. I've asked him to show me the part of his flat he's most embarrassed about, his bedroom. always wanted to hide it, not let anyone really see it. I think my mom would pass out if she sees this. You've got obviously a well ordered floor going. Yeah. I mean, it's a loose system. This is kind of the clothes I'm not sure if I can wear again and haven't the stomach to check.
Um, and then dirty stuff. Got the jumpers over there. It's my coffee machine without a water tank. So, is it broken? It's broken. Yeah. So, how long has it been there not working? How long have I lived here? Nine months. Yeah. And it's frustrating because to the outside world, you just think, "What a lazy goose." Like, it's not laziness, though, is it? It's not that you can't be bothered to do it. No, it feels like a tombola, right, where every day there's a million things in this tomb ball, right, that need to be done or things I need to remember, you know, text your mate or, you know, oh, it's your mate's birthday or you
need to eat or you need to get a coffee tank. These sort of things. and my body will kind of spit a ball out. So you take what comes out? Yeah. And do it. Yeah. So is the emergence of the ball from the tombola almost a random thing? Yeah, it feels like that. Why can't you reach into the tombbo and pick the ball out you want? There's so much going on quite often that it feels completely infeasible to reach for anything. Because I've been keeping this to myself, never showing anyone, never
talking about it, trying to hide it. When I do show it, it feels so exposing. I feel almost a visceral reaction to Henry's, you know, perceived shame. You know, just because he hasn't got the triggers, just cuz he can't flick that domino to get the rest of four, that doesn't make him a lazy person. It makes him a person who's operating in a different way. He's not wrong. He's not broken. He's just different. This difference in Henry was spotted early when he was still at school. But for the second person I'm meeting, the road to diagnosis was much longer.
Right, let's see. Joe, 51, diagnosed with ADHD two years ago during the menopause. Loves horses and dance music. She takes medication and finds it really helpful. Lives with wife Ally and daughter Winnie, who is six. I'm on a roll. What's next? Her daughter Katie, 23, lives in Nottingham. She's invited me to meet her at the stables near her home. Hello. Nice to meet you. How'd you do? I'm very well. Welcome to my second home.
Smells so good. I know. Smell of hay and horses. I love it. So good. Well, the smell of the animals is fantastic. But where's the real deal? Can we meet? This is my real deal here. We call her Nori. Can we get her out? Yeah, sure. I'll grab a lead rope. Nory. Come on then. Good girl. Horses have remained a constant in Joe's life. It's quite a commitment, isn't it? It's a huge commitment, but it's um it's probably the one thing I've committed to more than anything else. But other parts of her life have been
rather more changeable. When I left school, I did a course on hotel management. No idea why. That was so boring. I nearly got thrown off it because I was caught riding on the cleaning machines down the corridor when we did the housekeeping. After that, I went and worked for solicitors. I got bored of that. I got a job in London as a training manager for computer company. Left that after 6 months. Difficulty adapting to traditional work environments and the urge to chase novelty means that many people with unmanaged ADHD end up hopping from job to job. Joe tried 14 different careers. Then she hit a crisis point. I was
managing a project, deadlines, audits, reports to be done, lots of things that had to be planned and organized. And I remember sitting at home on my dining room table and um just thinking I can't do my job. I think I'm going to have to speak to my boss and come down a level which you'd previously been coping with fine. Yeah. Okay. Um about it was always last minute just about kind of got things done. Joe had no idea why she was struggling until friends started talking about ADHD. My eldest daughter Katie, a friend of hers at uni, was diagnosed with ADHD. And then my wife Ally had somebody at her work um who was diagnosed and she
could see the same difficulties that person was having as I was. So they both sort of spoke to me about it. Have you never previously suspected? No. Nothing. Never. Is that because you didn't have any awareness of it and the way that it manifest itself? I just thought I was rubbish at a lot of things. I thought that just I was forgetful and that was I was a bad person. So getting that diagnosis was brilliant in many ways cuz it made so many things make sense. That was reassuring, was it? Yeah. But I felt such kind of like a grief for me as a child, as a teenager, as a young adult, thinking, well, oh, if I'd have known about this
10, 20, 30, even 40 years ago, did all of those things that had been happening then had an explanation? Is that what happened in a massive cascade? Yes. Oh, that's why. And then I tried medication and that worked. And then things started to sort of calm down, but it took one. I'm still angry. I'm still quite angry about a lot of things. I'm angry about what I could have maybe been cuz I didn't know what I wanted to do. My late dad, I remember him saying to me once, "Joe, you're like a butterfly." What do you mean? Um and he said, "Well, you go from one, you go from one thing to another. You go from one flower to
another. When are you going to actually settle on something?" Now I'd realize why. because it's it's hard to settle on one thing with ADHD. Apart from this, we'll see in a minute how neat and tidy my parents were houses. So, me being juxtaposed to that, I think there were times of tension. But yeah, I'm excited for you to meet them. Out of everyone in his life, the people Henry is most keen to open up to are his family. So, we're having dinner with mom Kath, dad, Phil, and sister Joanna.
Brilliant. That was amazing. Thank you. Food is Yeah. Firstly, thank you very much for dinner and thank you very much for going vegan on my behalf. I appreciate that. Moving swiftly on. Um Henry um as a younger man, as a boy in fact. Yeah. Tell me all about him. Don't spare his blushes. As soon as he could move, really, he was different to Joanna. Joanna would sit on your knee and just look at what was going on. Whereas Henry would be all around the room. I remember once we went to the Lake District and Henry had gone into the pub and then he was holding court with all of these like local men in the pub like just entertaining them, having a big old chat.
I would say during primary schools everything is great. Your short lessons M it's quite a lot of it's verbal. Perfect. Secondary school especially you head towards GCSE a lot more books a lot more structure longer lessons and that's when I think you started to struggle a bit. He couldn't sit down and learn the facts. So we hatched a plan and we had flashcards and we stood out there and um well I sat down with the flash cards going Henry answer this question while Henry hit balls down the garden and that worked. So it was just finding ways that he could do it. It was quite incredible. You taught yourself all of my GCSEs in what grade did you get and what grade did your mom get? That's
Well, we can play that game and I ain't winning. But no, but then to translate that and put it in my head. I But let's skip forward then. Um what finally prompted seeking the ADHD diagnosis? You were just really unhappy. And I began to think he probably wouldn't finish school um because he just didn't want to be there. He came to us and said, "I think I might have ADHD." And we went, "Well, no, no, no." Yeah, I think so. Yeah. And how did that go? Which the process of diagnosis and I think the acknowledgement that the that it was ADHD was sort of upsetting for a little bit. Um, but in a way good because we knew what it was and we could address it. We could
resolve it. You know, once you know what it is, you can deal with it. Okay. I'm going to ask you a question. It's quite a difficult question, but you need to answer it as honestly as possible. How well do you think you know Henry out of 10? I'm going to go for a I'd like to think it's seven. Okay. I'm going to go bold eight. I would say eight. Maybe nine. Heading up in the direction of nine perhaps. Should we say eight and a half? Eight and a half. Let's say eight and a
I want to know from Henry how accurate those scores are. Your sister scored an 8.5 in terms of how well they know you. Mhm. Sister's bang on the money. So your dad scored a seven. What would you say? A five or a six? 5.5. And mom, she was eight. I'd say five. Yeah. Okay. Because they'll worry if I if they knew the whole truth. Well, that's what I'm scared of anyway. What are they missing? They have zero idea about, you know, stay at my flat and shouldn't ever lie to your mother. I know. Very bad. Slap your hand.
Have you eaten today, Henry? Oh, yeah. Had a lovely breakfast. I hadn't eaten since midday yesterday, but she will then be able to get on with her day and enjoy it. And I know I'm fine. I'll eat at some point. Um, I am completely out of control and they don't know that cuz I don't tell them. Um, I hide it. So, yeah. You've told me things that you haven't told your parents. Yeah. And when you make your film, you're making it to tell them those things. Yeah. And I don't tell them cuz I kind of know that it's it's through love and care that they do it, but that they'll try and help me. And sometimes that's a
lot and I don't want to confront that. Yeah. I don't do man hugs, so imagine one. Yeah. Elbow. Well, just about. There we go, mate. It's been a pleasure. No, it's um Yeah, you know a little bit more about Henry there. It's good. I hope that the film Henry and I make together will allow him to share with his family the true extent of his struggles and that they'll understand this is part of what makes him the person he is. I'm back in Hertfordshire to visit Joe. She was 49 when she was diagnosed. Hello. Welcome. And I'm interested in how being undiagnosed for so long affected life at home with elder daughter Katie and wife Ally.
I remember many a time when we've been sort of going out doing something when I was a child and you get a text from someone at my school's mom going, "Hi, is Katie still coming to the party?" And we'd not got a present. I wasn't dressed because she had completely forgotten that we were meant to be going to this party. and just I think a lot of stuff like that growing up that would frustrate me quite a lot. But like you were the child that I was having to organize. She's always been quite um loud and um chaotic and things like that. I just thought that was part of her personality. That's how did that sort of present in a sort of in a day-to-day basis?
Struggling to just plan her day, struggling to get out of the house on time. That's one of the things that's got better with medication. But if we decide to maybe both have a day off work because we want to do lots of chores in the house, I get frustrated because I'm having to supervise Joe's chores while trying to get mine done. Alli and Katie are making light of this, but things took a turn when Joe reached the menopause. For me, the menopause was more physical and tiredness, but the ADHD was playing havoc up here. to be tired, have ADHD, not sleeping, just went boom. So the menopause essentially ramped up all of those symptoms.
Yes. It got to the point where we were struggling to cope. It was that extreme. Yeah. Wouldn't you say? I think I had to step up more, even more than I did before. And I was always the one to put the pieces together, get people like organized and knowing what they've got to do next. And that then put a lot of toll on me. Joe's diagnosis was clearly a watershed moment, not just for her, but for the whole family. Right. Where are we going, Ali? I'm going to show you my shed. Shed? Yeah. Well, it's a workshop. Yeah. So, this is just where I feel comfortable and I can have some time to myself.
The diagnosis and subsequent medication must have been a relief. Yeah. It would have been impossible to carry on like that. I was taking on more than I could manage. And I ended up off work for about three months. And I went through a bit of a self-discovery for me about asking for help and talking about my feelings. And I think that probably helped Joe realize the impact that she was having on me. And you're two people who love one another. Yeah. Did it come in the nick of time? I think so. It's really hard because when things get better, I think you often forget how bad they were.
It feels like Joe's diagnosis has helped her family address many of the practical challenges with ADHD, but I suspect she might still be holding back on sharing the emotional side. One of the words that you've used when it comes to addressing your diagnosis and reconciling everything that means is grief. Is that part an essential part of the process? Do you think there was really quite fiercely this grief for the person that I think I could have been and that completeness I could have felt a long time ago rather than having it in my
50s. So, how much do Ally and Katie know about that? They don't quite get maybe how deep that goes because they will say and very supportively, but it's fine now. But look now, you've succeeded in this, you've succeeded at that. They see it now because they haven't got that years of history that I'm perhaps that I'm carrying around. So, would it be fair to say that you do proactively hide that from Alli and Katie? I probably do. Yes. It's clear that Joe had a lifetime of turmoil, chaos, um, and difficulty um, which reached its zenith at the onset of her menopause where all of those symptoms exploded. That was a period of enormous difficulty. And when
I hear her say words like guilt and grief, it's clear that, you know, she's got a way to go. Hopefully, the film we make together will not only give Joe the chance to explain how she feels, but also to process some of the emotions that might be holding her back. We're very excited. It's been a while since we've been in a costume. It has. In London, work is starting on Henry's short film.
It will feature a mysterious character created by Henry to represent his ADHD. Henry and his girlfriend Elellanena are heading to a costume house to try and bring him to life with the help of fashion lecturer Ian Bowen. Henry, lovely to meet you. I'm Ellena. Ellena, nice to meet you. So, what character have you come here today to bring to life? It's kind of a representation of the ADHD in me. I think I call him Tom Bowler Man. Why is he called tomb man? I've always pictured there's a like a big cage of balls. That's like on the like tomb. Yeah. And sometimes on these kind of tombola balls, there's just things that I don't feel I necessarily have control
over sometimes. And Tombbo man's the one who's just pulling them out and he's not really picking out the balls that matter. So what is actually written on the balls? I mean stuff that I don't need to think about. Projects that I've want to start that I haven't. Yeah. And then I haven't eaten and that ball doesn't show up. He makes you doubt everything you do. Yeah. Not my best friend at times. No. Should we go and bring Tom Bolan to life? Hell yeah. Let's do it.
Let's go. Amazing. So, what would his core style be, do you think? So, the picture I had in my head was this dude. He's got the visor on, sunglasses, just almost like he's hung over. Not when he is, but almost like he is. Greasy, horrible, dirty clothes. Bit ragged, right? Is Tom Bolan, bright and colorful. Gray. Okay, thank you. Oh, yeah. Literally almost exactly the picture I had in my head. Yeah. Head down kind of. Yeah. Don't make eye contact. All righty. Go. With plenty of outfits to choose from, it isn't long before Henry's ADHD alter ego becomes a reality.
Banging. I think Tom Berman is there. Fun. I've brought Joe to Broadcasting House to record the voice over for her film for Ally and Katie. Oh, it's just through here. Thank you very much. This is where we're going to do the recording. Wow. Exciting. Joe's never written a script before, so we've decided to do things a little differently. This is where they record women's hour. Oh, I love Women's Hour. She'll chat to Candace, one of our directors, about the experiences and emotions she's been holding back.
I'd like to have a bit of a natter and see what we get. Yeah, we are recording the whole time. And we'll piece together the best bits. You've talked about secondary school. Did you hand your homework in on time? No. I remember my mom and dad being called in to see the headmaster and him saying Joe could absolutely achieve but she just needs to concentrate and get on with it. So I do feel really sad for that girl now. Could you tell me about things that people used to say to you?
You know, shush, stop talking. Um you need to sit still, you know. Yeah, you're too much. um all of those sorts of things. I've gone goosebumpy at the back of my neck just talking about this because it really brings back how that makes you feel and it's this huge big burden that you carry around and you feel how makes you feel how rubbish you are. Together, Joe and Candace build up the script. I want to let myself shine, but I'm still processing. One thing I do know is I'm not too much. I was never too much. It's really lovely. That's it, isn't it? That's what I've been saying the whole time. That's I think that um it sums it up.
Script recorded. The pictures are next. I am really excited. Be dancing in a nightclub 11:00 in the morning in Hackne. Brilliant. Joe adores dance music. So, we're setting her words to a beat and filming the video in this club. Action. All right, let's go. We've transformed photos from key moments in Joe's life into kaleidoscopic designs. That's me. That's me about six. And we're projecting them onto her face.
Joe, I'm just going to give you these sunglasses. Thank you. Here you go. Sorry. transporting her into her past. And now I know why my dad used to call me a butterfly. Beautiful. Alli and Katie when they see this will have tears running down their face. If they don't, then I'm going to be really crossed because it shouldn't I think they're going to get this. What's going what's in here? That's a wrap. Across London, Henry's flat has been turned into a film set. Perfect. Great. Henry wants to explain to his family how overwhelmed he can feel trying to get through everyday tasks.
This scene is relaxing. Get to start the day in bed. We're using brightly colored balls to represent the hundreds of conflicting instructions running through his brain on a typical morning. See, every day it feels like I'm fighting my brain just to get through the very basic of tasks. I am Tom Man. And we're witnessing the cinematic debut of Tomol Man. Tie. No time. action. You do need to do your bike insurance. And now seems like the perfect time. Henry, I think that's probably enough. All that's left is to pick up the balls.
A few weeks later, I'm back in Oxfordshire. It's the day of Henry's screening. And in his parents' back garden, final preparations are taking place. Hello, Henry. Hello, Chris. How are you? Are you good? Um, well, you know, bit of this, bit that. Yes. Good to see you again. And you? How are you then? How are you feeling? [snorts] In terms of today, little bit of anxiety. You know, it's um something that I've kept in for quite a while that's about to be let out. How would you like your parents to react to the film? What would you like to change? If nothing comes from this, apart from the fact both my sister and my parents
understand what it's like to be me and that jewel I have with myself, then I'll be a very, very happy man. joining me in my pop-up cinema. A little unsure what they're about to witness. Henry's mom, Kath, sister, Joanna, and dad, Phil. Welcome to your marquee. Good to see you again. Have a seat. Thank you. Go on. So, how are you all okay? We're great, thank you. How do you feel about this then? I'm excited to see it. I'm I'm really I've heard a couple of little nuggets, but no, nothing really, so I'm intrigued.
Okay, let's run with it. Yeah. Oh, you're supposed to see your parents in half an hour. Oh god, you're going to be very late. So that's Tombbo man. He's what I call my ADHD. He's constantly feeding me instructions. But it's like he's choosing them completely randomly. You do need to do your bike insurance and now seems like the perfect time. Sometimes they're helpful. Sometimes not so much. Do you see what I mean? And before that, why don't we go over Henry's top 10 cringiest moments?
Henry, you see, every day it feels like I'm fighting my brain just to get through the very basic of tasks. Oh, and you need to send that email to Julie. Your boss already thinks you're an idiot. Sometimes this constant barrage sends me into a spiral. like I'm trapped in a riptide trying to keep my head above water whilst he drags me down. You are an idiot. You haven't texted your mom back or your dad or your mates. Some days it's really hard to cope and my brain just won't work at all. You are such an embarrassment. You are the epitome of your late ever.
I think it's waste of space. See, ADHD sometimes has me embarrassed while ashamed. I'm scared you're ashamed, too. See, I don't need fixing. This is me. See, my path through life is going to be different. And I'd love for you to be alongside with me all the way. We just might take some detours. Wow. You're a legend. Hello, sweetie. Imagine having one of these, eh? Yeah. Very well. I take that.
It's It's incredible. I love the answer to it. Well done. So good. Oh, brilliant. Oh, thank you. Love you. Sit on the soft blanket. I think I was aware, we were aware that, you know, there's a lot of stuff going on. You know, there's a lot of noise in your head, perhaps not to that volume. I think what I didn't know is just quite how much it's affecting you uh emotionally. It's incredibly naive, but I only thought that ADHD would affect school. I just don't think I thought beyond that. Yeah. And not realizing that there are, you know, there are so many things that you have to be able to accomplish, you know, just to
do your daily life. I've been scared to tell you guys that. I didn't want you guys to think it was something that you had to kind of pick up and put back together. I am really sorry about that. No, no, that's not what I wanted to be. I think you're sorry. You know that sense of we're trying to fix you. The bit I'm really struggling with is the sort of shame thing because we're so proud of you. We just think you're amazing. Yeah. You've grown so much and like that's amazing and we will always be there. Thank you. I know. I appreciate you.
Honestly, I can float through the ceiling. I feel so much better. Yeah. Oh, So, how do you feel it went then? Yeah, really, really, really well. Really well. sincerely one of the most yeah beautiful conversations I've had with them to do with this. It feels I don't know. It feels like I've taken the frost off a windshield. Mission accomplished.
For any transformation to be positive, you've got to go from somewhere worse to somewhere better. And that's what we've clearly seen here. Because when I first met Henry, I was genuinely saddened by the experience. Here was an incredibly bright, intelligent, sharp, creative young man who wasn't very much in love with himself, but he's moved on. He's identified himself more clearly. He's represented himself in that film more clearly and he's done so with a very clear request and that is that his family give him the scope to be who he is. He won't have a tidy life. There will always be a degree of chaos. But what beautiful chaos that's going to be.
It's the day of Joe's screening when she'll finally get to share her film with Ally and Katie. Oh, it's your dance interest that's come to the four. And this Hatfield nightclub is the perfect setting. Reminds me of something, Joe, in the 80s. It does. This is like my wallpaper about 83 I'm thinking. Yeah. How are you feeling then? Big day. A little bit apprehensive because it's about me from being a child and careers and family and friends. It's uh it's about my history and then where I am now. And what about Katie and Ally? Are they ready for it? Are you ready to show them? I can't wait for them to see it. Unless you have ADHD yourself, you can't absolutely understand how somebody feels. But I think this film will really
give them that history and that story. It's an impressive turnout. Hey, with friends and family representing every aspect of Joe's life. Thank you all for coming along today to uh what should we call it? Club Neurodiversity and we put this film together. It's based around Joe's love for dance and dancing. So, I hope you enjoy it and I also hope you learned a lot from it, too. Okay, let's roll the film. Back in the 70s, I'd never heard of ADHD. Too chatty, too cheeky, too loud.
Head teacher said she could absolutely achieve. She just needs to concentrate. I feel sad for what I could have been. You're too much. Sit still. Talk quieter. Why can't I? My dad used to call me a butterfly. Had 13 or 14 careers. Got bored. Want to try something else. You forget people's birthdays. Double book to let somebody down. That panic and that guilt and that worry. Bad friend. Bad daughter.
Bad mother. Write a list. Don't interrupt. Try this out. It didn't reply. I felt like a bad person for 49 years. Even though there's no one to blame, doesn't mean I can't feel angry about it. I want to let myself shine, but I'm still working it all out. All Give me time, some understanding, and I'll get there. I'm not too much. I was never too And now I know why my dad used to call me a butterfly. AMAZING.
OH, bless you. Thank you, my love. Oh, I'm just so proud of you. Oh, come here. Never a bad friend. No, thank you. I thought it was amazing. She was never ever too much for me. She was not enough. I just wanted to spend more time with her and now I understand. So wonderful, wonderful, wonderful person. Such an inspiration. What did you think then? Oh my god. Few tears at the end. I Yeah, it was that bit at the start when she was just saying that she still doesn't feel like, you know, she's never felt like she's enough or whatever. I
just wanted to go, you've always been enough, Mom. I promise you have. It [snorts] just it made me so emotional and I'm sure you know feel the same. I feel really proud but the thing I can't get out of my head is when I say you're talking really loudly. Does she see that as me criticizing her? Do we need to have a different way of communicating that means that she doesn't feel that I'm criticizing something that actually she finds really hard to control? Is it fair to say that the film was a bit of a revelation then in some ways?
Yeah. And I didn't think it would be because I thought I knew what it was like in Joe's head. It's all about working together, isn't it? and you know everybody pitching in and trying to understand each other. Yeah. There was an aura in the room when it finished. I know there were tears, but there were tears for the right reasons. Yes. The emotion from people was amazing. And what about you? How do you feel? I was very angry when I first spoke to you. Really angry. It's not all gone, but I'd say I'm halfway there. It's quite a relief actually to be able to
finally say all of that. It's a bit like if you want to have a difficult conversation with someone and you don't know where to start, you never do it. Well, I've just done that with lots of people closest to me in one go, which is really scary to start off with. But now it's done. I feel a real sense of relief and feel that people then understand you. M we used to say as punk walkers that anger is an energy but you've got to turn that energy into something positive and you've done that honory punk walker. I'll take that. Thank you. Okay, I'll tidy up. Leave the monster munch to me. I'll wash up.
I think Joe's an extraordinary woman. I thought that as soon as we met. I loved her exuberant confidence, her determination to meet this task head on. But she ended up making a film full of that confidence and a film that was requesting, not demanding, but requesting understanding. And she got it. That room was full of respect, admiration, and love. And as a bloke who likes butterflies, brimstones, purple emperors, dark green fertilleries, I've got to say Joe for me is the perfect butterfly.
