Well, with 50% of the vote, you chose death doula. The non-medical professional role is trending online after actress Nicole Kidman shared she's learning to be a death doula following the passing of her mother in 2024. Here to tell us more about it and what it is, death doula and author Darnell Lamont Walker. Thank you so much Darnell for joining us. So Thanks for having me. I appreciate it so much. Yeah, so break down for us exactly what a death doula is and how someone like you and Nicole Kidman take on a role like this.

No, absolutely. You touched on it. It's this non-medical professional or person who supports someone at the end of their life whether spiritually, emotionally, practically. And but we all bring our unique selves to the work. So Nicole Kidman, I'm not sure what she'd bring, but I'm sure she has some talent to bring much of herself to the people who need her. Me, I'm a writer. I like to help people tell their story, what they leave behind, the legacy work in my role. So and so I'm sure she brings something just as wonderful. I would imagine that's that's very helpful and just beneficial for this individual as they're in their final moments.

Darnell, so what are some other benefits of having a death doula for someone who is terminally ill and also for their family? What do you offer and bring to the table? No, absolutely. You know, we do help families at the end whether it's helping them have those very difficult conversations that people find they can't seem to bring up. I come into the room and one of my first questions is "How do you want to die given the prognosis? What's happening? This is where we are. How do you want these last days to go?" And it sort of gives this control back in a lot of the situations and in a moment where we feel like we've

lost that control. [snorts] There times we come in and it's offering respite for the family who just need to take a break, who need to step out, who need to just get some sleep. Caretaking is hard. Caregiving is an extremely difficult role. So when I get to come in and say "You take a break. I'll be here for your family." It's it's I don't want to say joy, but it's something that I get to make sure that no one goes through this thing alone.

Grief, the end of life is something we shouldn't go through alone and I'm grateful that I'm able to be there in that. And I'm sure families are as well. How did you get involved in this? How did you get started? Yeah, no. You know, strangely I've been doing this work since I was 9 years old. I came in watching my grandmother do this work and this wasn't she'd never heard of the term death doula. You know, this was what we do for those we love. This isn't new. This is something that generations and since the beginning of time we took care of our cousins, we took care of our loved ones at the end of their life. And so I watched her, her name was Irene Elizabeth Jones and I

watched her, I watched my mother Doreen Wells do this work over and over for family. You know, and whether that was getting water, sharing stories, holding their hands, giving them a hug at a hard time. And I sort of moved in that direction. I was volunteering at hospices when I was 13. I helped my grandfather die, helped my cousin die, had grief circles in middle school, you know. And when I first heard the term death doula, I looked it up and I'm like, "Oh man, this is everything I've been doing since I was 9 years old." And I realized I didn't want people to be alone in this. And during COVID we were all there and I saw just how lonely we'd become,

hugging family through glass, you know, not being able to reach out and just hold someone. And I said if I could step in there and do that, then let me do it. And I leaned in with more intention, more love and I've been doing it ever since. And thankfully I've been able to write a book about how we've all done this work. It's called Never Can Say Goodbye and I just hope we all realize that it doesn't take someone special to do this work. It just takes the love and the presence. Interesting because I was just going to say you are a very special person for taking on a role like this. This is a pretty remarkable work that you're doing

and I'm confident that these families are appreciative of what you're doing. Thank you so much for sharing with us, Darnell. Thank you so much. I appreciate that.