Optimism: Cost and Why It Matters

You believe it's a good investment, put $15,000 into a group fund with 10 other buddies to buy a single family home for 150,000 and make money off the derivative. You believe it. You say no. They go on and do it and by [__] year three, they're already paid back and making money for the rest of their life, you're [__] dead inside cuz you believed yes, but you allowed cynicism and fear to make you go no. That is the cynicism tax. The cynicism tax, why being realistic isn't as real as you think. So, stop mistaking negativity for reality and start using optimism to get things done. And I just wanted to get your definition of what a cynicism

tax is. A cynicism tax is defined in my mind of you're deploying a perspective of no without putting in the efforts to see if it's a maybe thus rendering you having no [clears throat] capacity to ever find upside that others don't see or even few see or the masses don't see. When you're in a practical optimism framework you're saying maybe to everything. And when you say maybe to everything and you're you have the humility to \{quote\} \{unquote\} waste your time, aka use your time to potentially say yes to something that most will say no to. How do you think I found myself being right about email marketing, about having a website, around Google AdWords, influencer marketing, mobile? Like everything that

I've watched anyone who's innovated is met with nos. I am in practical optimism which oh by the way, let me address this cuz I saw a piece of content this weekend where it said that I'm the king of toxic positivity. And I was laughing with how many people have you know, and you know this, a lot of people are trying to weaponize this term, right? Mhm. It nothing could be more interesting to me than people have decided to create a term called toxic positivity and try to weaponize it against humans. It's it's truly one of the saddest things I've seen in the world. Here's why. Toxic positivity is really just slang term for delusion.

Right? Mhm. Or a dream, right? If that word didn't exist, they'd be like Gary's just selling them a fake dream, right? For me all I talk about is practical truths. All I believe in is accountability the market is always right. People are confusing practical optimism with toxic positivity or delusion because they don't know the difference between trying for a little while or wasting all your time and money on it forever. I am the king of what some people would say wasting minutes and hours and days on hypotheses that end up not being true but that level of curiosity and practical optimism has also led me to 40 things that are so true that the upside of those 40 truths has

created remarkable economic and emotional happiness. The tax on cynicism is none of the people that deploy it, Sammy. Mhm. Could have ever discovered the gold at the other side of the rainbow cuz they never slid down the rainbow. Cuz they never they don't even try cuz they're not even in the game. And like real talk, if you are trying to accomplish something but you've already talked yourself out of it and you're not doing it, doesn't that actually render it 100% impossible? Mhm. The end. It's the you miss the 100% of the shots you don't take or what was that? Completely. And people are so scared and are so believing the negativity in the world that they choose to weaponize cynicism as a protection mechanism and then

if that's not enough they go and try to deploy toxic positivity on people that are practically optimistic. I cannot laugh more about that. I also think it's really I also people are fearful based. Yes, it's exactly what's happening. They're so feared that they're in misery loves company and they try to deploy cynicism and labels to make sure everyone else doesn't do anything either. What about when it's like sometimes I get family like my family are immigrants, right? And it's all like protection because it's like I love you so much that I don't want you like we need to be like protected from these risks. We did all these risks. I agree.

Makes sense. How old are you? I'm 31. Great. Tell your parents you're Like when people ask me like what do I do Gary with that? I'm like, you know, like I get it. Like I didn't ride a bike. I'm scared of dogs as a kid and I was scared of swimming because my mom was scared I was going to get drowned and bit by a dog. I know what fear is. I have no judgement. Unlike you know, it's funny. Unlike people that are affected by my optimism and want to sling toxic positivity, I don't call it toxic cynicism.

I don't call it toxic fear. Notice what I called it, the cynicism tax. Mhm. I don't even want to like I always laugh when people want to hurt. I don't want to I don't even want to use that word toxic cuz I don't want to hurt people's feelings. But do I believe that most of the people that read this article or watch this clip have a cynicism tax? Yes, I do. I think most people do not achieve. Now, to the let me counter myself. Let me join the ranks. Do I think that there are people that are downright delusional?

Like delusional. Sure, I meet them all the time. You know, they those people do gravitate to me. You know, it's funny. I get both sides. You know who gravitates me? The extreme cynics that are like so tired and are 10 years into their cynicism that they're actually ready for my practical optimism. They're not in year one where they're going to leave a comment toxic king of toxic positivity. They're in year seven where they're like clearly my way didn't work. I want to actually know what this guy's been talking about for the last 20 years. And then there's people that a lot of those people are making fun of and think

exist which is like delusional people. Which is why Sammy, Matt, I always talk about work ethic accountability the market is the market. Mhm. Yes, you should quit after four and a half years of sucking at the same thing over and over. Like you know, like It's almost like for the delusional but it's almost like the reps are the proof, right? Of like that thing that you're striving for. It's sports. Like you're saying you put in that work, that work ethic is the proof. It's sports. Of that. Yeah. I laugh when people want to take shots. I'm like, have you looked at my baseball card?

Turn to the back. Do you understand what I've done? It's it's your world. I'm here with Steve from VaynerSpeakers. Like I told Steve and Zach like as early as I met them. When I met Steve I was already somewhere. Zach got me a little bit earlier but you actually, that's right. Steve like right, Steve knew of me and like I told everybody I was going to be a very successful speaker. Whether I was brash and delusional or positive if I was deploying toxic positivity on myself or not or you know, Steve was like or Zach thought little too brash or too much cursing or not professional enough or yeah, just

don't get it which is like super valid. Like I've been wrong about people all the time. It didn't really matter in thought. It just plays out. It just plays out. And so um I would just tell everybody who's reading this that if you're willing to be quiet and really understand are you on the side of paying a cynicism tax? If you're on the side of the other side of the pillow. Delusion at scale. Try to find this middle which is grounded in maybe. I'm a maybe trying to find yes guy. I'm not yes at everything. But [__] man. Ev- boy, do I see the world loaded with people that are no on.

I mean my father really says no to everything. I'm dead. Cool. Sorry. I like that cuz that was a bar. I was like let him cook. I was like yeah, I can go ahead. You know, that's it. I just how could you possibly achieve something if you killed it before you started? And then that's what got me down. Now I'll give you the inside of my career. That's what then got me to why are people doing this? Oh wait, people are saying no to protect themselves from losing publicly. Think about how safe it is. I'm going to [__] on people like Gary and others who are positive and say they're toxic positivity. That makes me feel like I'm doing

something cuz in real life I'm doing nothing. And also the comment section, too, it's so easy to be able to do that cuz you feel like you're you're And you feel like you did something. Like yay, I got 150 like on my this post that I'm like talking about this weekend. Ooh, 900 people agreed with me. See, Gary, you're wrong. I'm like okay, see the other side. Can't wait. Like let's see how this plays out. There's really no logic. Like, no actual practical logic to be a queen of cynicism. Optimism is not the same word as delusion, and cynicism is not the same word as thoughtful.

It's good to be thoughtful so you don't buy a million dollar lottery ticket. Like, you don't want to be a right? Mhm. But again, I think people think cynicism is the same as like, "Well, Gary, if I wasn't cynical, I would have invested in that beachfront property in Peru and with my neighbors, and we all lost our money." Like, that's not cynicism. That's being thoughtful. Cynicism is deep What's the definite What's the Webster's definition of cynicism, team? An inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest, skepticism. That would be like the people selling us the beachfront property in Peru aren't

just selling a beachfront property and letting us make a decision, they're trying to trick us to take our money, and it's going to be bad for us. That's different than this is a neutral business deal, and should we, the four of us, you know, should we all pile in our dollars? We got a new friend here. Can he add 20 bucks to it? And can we buy this property? The cynics will point to the nine times it doesn't work out. I'll speak to the time where I bought beachfront Malibu property for a hundred thousand, it's worth 40 million.

I didn't do that. I'm just saying good examples. And understanding that we are not talking about thoughtfulness and delusion. It's very important you weave that in. Like, I want to make a very strong point. There's a reason cynicism exists as a word, and there's a reason why thoughtful, or whatever What's the opposite of cynicism? I use thoughtful first to mind, but there's other good words, I'm sure. Let's ask. I think optimism is kind of It? A synonym, yeah. Yeah, so these are the cousins, right? So, right? To me, I use optimism, but that's not delusion. In fact, asking ChatGPT what's the

difference between optimism and delusion is good. What's the difference between cynicism and thoughtfulness? I think are like really good prompts. That's my point. The general public, when they hear cynicism and optimism, or positivity, I mean, the concept that there is even an ability to be toxically positive is so stupid. It's a misunderstanding of positive. What they're trying to say is delusion. It's sad that we're We should kill that word. It's going to ruin the world. Stop saying toxic positivity, start saying delusional.

Cuz positivity and delusion are not the same. But you're tricking the kids. I'm [__] pissed about this. I've decided I'm pissed about this. You're [__] ruining an entire generation's opportunity because of your own hurt and losingness. [__] that [__] We're not letting that happen. T-shirt and t-shirt. Done. I think that's good. That's perfect for this article, and then we'll have it all finished up.

Um Matthew, do you have any? When does one run into somebody who's in a no mindset, um a scarcity mindset, what are like the first tactical steps you take to get in them to skew toward at least maybe? By actually saying yes to something they want to say no to see how not bad it is. And to tell them that this will likely not work out, but this is just practice. Most people need to know what it feels like to lose $15,000 when they can afford fully They can afford it. Like, they're not dead, but it's a [__] ding. Because once If you really believed it, you're going to feel better than you think.

That's the part that most people don't understand, that if you actually believed it. Here's the Let me break down the scenario if you want to use the example. You believe it's a good exa- investment to put $15,000 into a group fund with 10 other buddies to buy a single family home for 150,000 and make money off the derivative. You believe it. You say no. They go on and do it, and by [__] year three, they're already paid back and making money for the rest of their life, you're [__] dead inside cuz you believed yes, but you allowed cynicism and fear to make you go no. That is the cynicism tax.

You go and put that 15,000 and it does not work out, you don't feel as bad as the first example. That is what I have to teach people to go through. Got it? How do you do it? It's different It's just like working out. How do you get someone to work out? You physically drag the [__] ass out of their bed and bring them downstairs and go to the gym. Like, until they do it, you can't do it. And they'll fight you tooth and nail. It's like an alcoholic. I just wanted to kind of follow up on that. Can The things I'm getting is like it's either the worst feeling is like the regret of not doing it, or like the

worst feeling is the fear before you even start. Like, which one do you think The worst feel The worst feeling is you fully believe something and you go against your feelings because you let fear stop you. But in your true heart, in like real talk, have you not done something in your life that you knew you wish you did, you wanted to, but fear stopped you, and then it played out in a way that was good, and you wish you were associated with that good? Do you know what that feels like? It feels the worst. Like, you wish you dated that boy and said yes. You wish you bought that thing. You wish you invested in that stock. You wish you took that job. Like, it's it's the worst feeling. The worst feeling is your soul is telling you yes, and your brain fear

when you let that overpower your gut yes, you let your brain fear, and then you and then it like the Let me give you So, it works out, you're upset. Let me give you the reverse. Your brain fear says don't do it. Your heart and soul says do it. You take your brain, and then thing does not work out, it doesn't feel as good as you think it does. The highs are much bigger on success than the lows feel in not success, and the highs are much higher than the gra- than the good feeling of your no worked out. You're like, "Okay."

Like, some people get off on it. See, told you nine friends are suckers. Like, you get your high on that, but there's no You didn't win. This is what I keep telling people. You didn't win. Like, think about Is that what you want your life to be? That you make fun of your nine friends who took a chance? Like, is that fulfilling? So, like again, like what like this is real talk. This makes sense. Like, is that what you want your life to be? Like, your nine buddies failed.

Their restaurant investment failed. And what? You just be like, "Haha, I was the only smart" Like, what are you doing? Like, what is that life? I'd rather lose with my buddies. Like, the drinking nights of like making fun of us. Like, "Remember when we tried to buy a Chinese restaurant in Alabama?" Like, like that 15 times you have that story over beers is worth the $15,000 that I Like, you know, and again, everything's relative, and money's important. Like, I'm not saying that.

I'm saying soul. Your soul. I'm saying like [snorts] I mean, You can get at the end of the road, and then you're going to look back, and then you're going to see everything, regrets. You're not there with like your buddies anymore. People have become intoxicated with labeling everyone else without realizing it has nothing to do with their life. When the [__] did we all decide that we were God? People are literally walking around Earth like they think their [__] opinions are the [__] end all, be all, and they need to [__] spread it near and wide on everyone's comment.

Now, I put out a lot of content, but I'm passionate about perspectives, but I'm not trying to impose my will on people. Like, I'm not going around the internet being like, "You're wrong. You're wrong." I'm just putting out what I believe, and like let the chips fall. That's very, very, very different. I'm out here doing things and letting the chips fall and living life. Other people are going around and just [__] on things, cynical armies, and they think they're doing something. They're not doing anything. They're reacting to other people's doing, and they think the [__] on it is their contribution. They're doing nothing.

And they're going to wake up soon and be like 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, and be like, "Oh, wow, I did nothing." I've watched this happen pre-social media. I had a family of two very opposites. People are about to get to 70 and 80-year-olds and realize they did nothing in their life besides [__] on other people's dreams. That's great. Congrats. Hope you enjoyed that run on your only time on Earth. What a [__] pathetic point of view. You said that this is before uh social media cuz I'm wondering, too, like in some TV shows now, like I feel like TV shows, there's team this one or team

this one, and the comment section is so opinionated that it like informs like even the show. And do you think You said it's pre-social media cuz I was going to ask, do you think it is social media that we all have an ability to leave a comment? We all had our opinions. They used to just sit in the kitchen table. All of our Greek grandmas had all sorts of opinions. They were just confined to the park and their other two lady friends, the dinner table, right? The PTA. Now we're contributing to the ether. But I don't people understand. Like here's one thing that I'm fascinated by the cynics. They're accomplishing

absolutely nothing. [snorts] What do you think makes them think? Because clearly like it's still feeding it. So they're still doing it, the cycle. So like something must be feeding that validation that they're getting, right? Yeah. They think they're doing something. They're confused. You know how else is a confused? An alcoholic. A drug addict. A narcissist. I have really bad news for people. If you spend your life going around and [__] on people around the internet, you have a disease.

Like it's a like it's going to be widely understood as a massive disease. People spend five, six hours a night going around the internet and [__] on people. That's a very hurt person. We didn't know alcoholism was a problem. You know that, right? Like we knew, but like we didn't know. Do you know what I mean? Like we're like, "Ah, he's a drunk." You know, like We do not understand this and I am going to yell at the top of my lungs about this. This will be diagnosed in due time. It's a really bad thing and cancel culture, like tearing down the establishment cuz of your own pain became It's just does not work.

It has never worked. It just leads to a very dark and angry place. Cuz you're just in a cocoon of dark. Toxic positive. Do you know what insane positivity is? As if positivity is like a problem. It's one thing if you don't try and you shut your [__] mouth and you talk to no one and you're not trying by yourself within yourself, right? Like you're just sitting at home, you're not trying, and you're not bothering anyone. I kind of I'm like you know, that my heart pours for that person. I'm like, "Yo, I hope I can find them and be like, you should try." It's a whole 'nother thing to not try and spend all your time what you should be doing and trying to tear down everyone else who's trying. That's called cancel culture. That's

called comment keyboard warriors. That's called a bunch of punk-ass [__] That's a disease, right? It's That's a disease. When you're interviewing, say an executive, is this something that you can sort of spot in someone? Yeah, sometimes. Only if By the way, only in the extremes. In interviewing, only the I knew in 5 seconds that Claude was awesome. Only if you're like in the top 10% to the extremes. Like all of you, I couldn't. Really, I'm just talk like you have to be like top 10 like delusionally like almost like a Buddha like me. I think like a lot of people could read me

early, even before I was me. Like you just kind of know when you meet people like, "Oh, wow, that's like a lot of positive energy." Like the and then you watch quickly and think back it up, right? Brandon. I knew that about Brandon in 5 seconds. That's why I still know him 40 years later. First day of high school, I knew. And then I went to a baseball card show with him 6 weeks in and he worked hard and like I'm I literally told my father I'm going to hire this guy for the store in October of my freshman year of high school. Didn't work for us for 8 years from that. Like knew that all the way to the other side. There have definitely been people I've known.

Like I sometimes get like visceral human like goosebumps like turn in my stomach when someone's very negative. Like an animal. You know, like animals like run away? Like I run away from people. It's been a great gift to my life. Run away. Where I've gotten caught is sometimes I know someone's hurt, not and I see them as a charity project. I've hired a lot of those That's where I've hired poorly. They're not complete visceral poison. They're a charity project for me and I blended my charitable work in my professional job and I want to stop doing that. And I've stopped doing that.

Like good news, all four of you are fairly new. None of you were hired as a charity case. Whereas like no [__] somebody could have gotten your jobs that was half as good as you in my subjective opinion interviewing because I wasn't able to detach my charitable energy from my operational energy. Especially when they're It tends to always map similar to my dad, like deeply insecure, which is always the tell. Usually older, you know, like some of the characters that are still around like fit that. I just haven't fully reconciled yet. But I'm not adding anymore. How much of your um success very generally speaking, doesn't have to

be anything specific, just generally, do you think has to do with having This conversation? um skewed toward maybe toward some of that optimism, allowing serendipity to sort of just play out? Way more than you could ever imagine. Way more Like if I had to put a percentage on it, a number that would make your head spin. There is a potential my practical optimism framework, the fact that I approach almost everything with a maybe, with an effort to get to yes, has a substantial double figure, 20%, 30%, maybe more. Maybe I can't even see it. That's how much I know how big it is. Maybe all of it. It's really a big deal. That's why I'm passionate about it.